Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include any relevant examples from your experience. v.4

Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Give your opinion and include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 4
It is argued by many parents that costly gifts items spoils children. I disagree with this notion and believe that it helps to motive them as well as teach them to be practical in life. The main reason why I think giving costly items helps chid is because it help them to do better in his studies. This is to say that when parents lure their kids by offering them reward on getting better grades in exam, they prepare hard for exams to get high numbers in every subject. This type of approach helps parents to make their child study hard for exam and it also has some positive outcome on their grades. Take article from child care a leading magazine in india, which states that 90 percentage of success has been observed when parents promise their children to award them with the gift of their choice on getting top three positions in a class. So gifting a child expensive things can often help parents to accomplished their desire from children. Another reason is that children learn to be practical. This means they know that they will get gifts from their parents only when they fullfill their parents desire. So from this they become aware that to get things which they seek they have to work hard and this type of approach is good for their future as it develops the habit of competitiveness in them. Take Xiaomi phone owner Xu Zen for example, in an interview given to a new channel CNBC awaaz he told the habit which has cultivated him is the outcome of his hard work. He further told that his parents always used to give expensive gifts on his achievements in life and this has made him a hard-working person. Therefore this type of habits can often helps parents to prepare their children for future. In my opinion, awarding a child with costly gifts can often motivate them to work hard and also can often make them practical minded.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
items spoils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I disagree with this notion and believe that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to motive them
as well
as teach them to be practical in life.

The main reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
giving costly items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
Possible spelling mistake found.
chid
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
them to do better in his studies. This is to say that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
lure their kids by offering them reward on getting better grades in exam, they prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for exams to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high numbers in every subject. This type of approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for exam and it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome on their grades. Take article from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
care a leading magazine in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, which states that 90 percentage of success has
been observed
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
promise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to award them with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
of their choice on getting top three positions in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
gifting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
expensive things can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to accomplished their desire from children.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to be practical. This means they know that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
desire.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this they become aware that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things which they seek they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and this type of approach is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their future as it develops the habit of competitiveness in them. Take Xiaomi phone owner
Possible spelling mistake found.
Xu
Zen
for example
, in an interview
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to a new channel CNBC
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaaz
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
the habit which has cultivated him is the outcome of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work. He
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
on his achievements in life and this has made him a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working person.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this type of habits can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for future.

In my opinion, awarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
motivate them to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them practical minded.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Give your opinion and include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts