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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v.4

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v. 4
In today’s society, some parents are becoming increasingly permissive. They do not impose sufficient discipline on their children, and in some cases buy them too many things. This essay will explore why this is not a good way to raise children and why it will have negative impacts upon them in future. While it is understandable that parents want to give their children expensive toys and let them run freely in the streets, this is actually not really an appropriate method of parenting. Having too many toys encourages children to be materialistic and does not offer them the same change to develop social skills like sharing. Furthermore, when children have asked for the toys, it gives them a sense of entitlement and even power over their parents. As for giving children too much freedom, there are obviously a great many dangers in this world from which they need to be kept safe. Children also need rules and boundaries to encourage them to develop into mature and responsible adults. If parents insist on this permissive style of parenting, their children will grow up with very different values from those of stricter parents. Children who were never forced to study will end up with poorer grades in school, and those who were given everything they wanted as children will expect everything to come easily as adults. In short, they will lead difficult and disappointing lives, in contrast with what their parents hoped. In conclusion, although it is tempting to give children whatever they want, parents ought to set rules and boundaries, and to be careful with how they reward children. If parents fail to impose a basic level of discipline, children may grow up with a poor attitude that will cause them and others to suffer.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are becoming
increasingly
permissive. They do not impose sufficient discipline on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. This essay will explore why this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and why it will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts upon them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

While it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
expensive toys and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them run
freely
in the streets, this is actually not
really
an appropriate method of parenting. Having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
toys encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be materialistic and does not offer them the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to develop social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like sharing.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
the toys, it gives them a sense of entitlement and even power over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. As for giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too much freedom, there are
obviously
a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in this world from which they need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
safe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
also
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and boundaries to encourage them to develop into mature and responsible adults.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
insist on this permissive style of parenting, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values from those of stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who were never forced to study will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with poorer grades in school, and those who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
everything they wanted as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
everything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
easily
as adults. In short, they will lead difficult and disappointing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
in contrast
with what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hoped.

In conclusion
, although it is tempting to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whatever they want,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and boundaries, and to be careful with how they reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fail to impose a basic level of discipline,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may grow up with a poor attitude that will cause them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to suffer.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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