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Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.1

Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. 1
The idea that whether the politician or the media is having an impact on people lives is remain a source of controversy. However, while some believe that it is the media who has greatly effect on people lives, I agree with those who feel that the politician have controlled over their way. On the one hand, it could be argue that media is having powerful impact on human lives in certain respects. Those who support media say that mankind is aware of not only does any new product come in the market, but they also come to know where the offers are going on in the form of advertisement which are depicted on TV or on internet and in the newspapers. Moreover, media often makes it easy for human to take scrupulously precaution through weather forecast, which means that people are able to recognize the likely scenario such as snow, rain, draught and floods. As a result, they tend to plan schedule accordingly. However, I believe that there are more arguments to suggest that politicians have profoundly control the human lives. Nations economy is driven by the politicians across the world. I would argue that through yearly budget they fix the rate of petrol, oil, gas and electricity. Consequently, people have to cope with such budgets no matter how unpleasant it is. Furthermore, governments allocate money from countries citizen in the form of taxation in order to generate income which has been utilized for infrastructure facilities like on the increment of roads, hospitals, stations, and public places. If they use this money inappropriately, it will directly affect local citizen of the country by charging high taxation on different items. So in my opinion it is the politicians who have influential effect on people lives. To sum up, although people are frequently cautious for the upcoming product in the market, evolving the money in form of taxation for the development of infrastructure is utilized for public welfare. Therefore, on balance, I believe that politicians have strong impact on human lives.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is having an impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
is
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
a source of controversy.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'media' should be used.
has
greatly
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
have controlled over their way.

On the one hand, it could be
Consider using the past participle "argued"?
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is having powerful impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in certain respects. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
say that mankind is aware of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does any new product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know where the offers are going on in the form of advertisement which
are depicted
on TV or on internet and in the newspapers.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to take
scrupulously
precaution through weather forecast, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to recognize the likely scenario such as snow, rain,
Possible spelling mistake. 'draught' is British English.
draught
and floods.
As a result
, they tend to plan schedule
accordingly
.

However
, I believe that there are more arguments to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
have
profoundly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "controlled".
control
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Nations economy
is driven
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
across the world. I would argue that through yearly budget they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the rate of petrol, oil, gas and electricity.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with such budgets no matter how unpleasant it is.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
allocate money from countries citizen in the form of taxation in order to generate income which has
been utilized
for infrastructure facilities like on the increment of roads, hospitals, stations, and public places. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this money
inappropriately
, it will
directly
affect local citizen of the country by charging high taxation on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have influential effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
frequently
cautious for the upcoming product in the market, evolving the money in form of taxation for the development of infrastructure
is utilized
for public welfare.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
have strong impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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