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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child for having a larger number of toys? v.17

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child for having a larger number of toys? v. 17
A number of families purchase numerous toys for their wards to be engaged with. Although, this is advantageous in the sense that, it improves their cognitive abilities and helps keep them from becoming destructive, it however has a major demerit alongside which calls for attention One the one hand, one major benefit of buying enough playing materials for children is that these items help improve their memories. Most toys available nowadays, are designed such that the get the children thinking. Other times, the youngsters are found been quiet, thinking of how to unravel the puzzle before them and after a while, they arrive at a solution. A constant play with such materials helps these children to easily solve academic works that usually seem difficult. For instance, the survey done in Nigeria by the Children Foundation revealed that the best pupils in schools are those children who have abundant materials to play with in their homes. On the other hand, excessive engagement of young one with toys reduces the social skills of those children. In other words, because these youngsters spend their leisure times in playing with these toys, they eventually do not have time to bond with peers around. Occasionally, when these children are taken out to gatherings, they are usually found keeping to themselves and not wishing that anyone crosses their paths. Additionally, they are easily offended by people's even peers' attitudes, consequently, other children withdraw from them. When such character is not monitored and addressed, the children will grow to be unruly adults. In conclusion, admittedly, buying plenty toys for children to be playing with has many advantages, nevertheless, the major drawback which is deteriorated social life, needs to be put into great consideration.
A number of families
purchase
numerous
toys
for their wards to
be engaged
with. Although, this is advantageous in the sense that, it
improves
their cognitive abilities and
helps
keep
them from becoming destructive, it
however
has a major demerit alongside which calls for attention

One
the one hand, one major benefit of buying
enough
playing materials for
children
is that these items
help
improve
their memories. Most
toys
available nowadays,
are designed
such that the
get
the
children
thinking.
Other
times, the youngsters
are found
been quiet, thinking of how to unravel the puzzle
before
them and after a while, they arrive at a solution. A constant play with such materials
helps
these
children
to
easily
solve academic works that
usually
seem difficult.
For instance
, the survey done in Nigeria by the
Children
Foundation revealed that the best pupils in schools are those
children
who have abundant materials to play with in their homes.

On the
other
hand, excessive engagement of young one with
toys
reduces
the social
skills
of those
children
. In
other
words,
because
these youngsters spend their leisure times in playing with these
toys
, they
eventually
do not have time to bond with peers around.
Occasionally
, when these
children
are taken
out to gatherings, they are
usually
found keeping to themselves and not wishing that anyone crosses their paths.
Additionally
, they are
easily
offended by
people
's even peers' attitudes,
consequently
,
other
children
withdraw from them. When such character is not monitored and addressed, the
children
will grow to be
unruly
adults.

In conclusion
,
admittedly
, buying
plenty
toys
for
children
to be playing with has
many
advantages,
nevertheless
, the major drawback which
is deteriorated
social life, needs to
be put
into great consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child for having a larger number of toys? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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