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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v.5

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 5
Currently, there is a shrink of family size observed in some countries, as citizens tend to live more independent than people were in the past. Personally, I believe that this tendency has both positive and negative impacts on human life. In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, leading to some advantages for the development of individuals as well as families. People could have more freedom to travel and live far away from their home towns. For example, many students choose to study abroad instead of going to their local university, and gaining valuable experience from this makes them more independent as they learn to live alone. As growing in a small family unit, conflicts between family members would be remarkably limited in comparison with a multi-generational family. As a result, the relationship between all family members is more and more close-knit that would support mentally the development of each members' life. However, one-person households are more vulnerable as facing financial and health issues. It is true that life is more complex and difficult, especially because the costs of living has increased so dramatically. Without the help from other people, it would be impossible for many people to pay all living costs such as buying a car, paying a deposit or even purchase food. Moreover, for some people, particularly the elderly, living alone could trigger mental illness such as depression or autism if people segregate themselves from human contact in the long run. In conclusion, the shrink of household size is accompanied by both merits and demerits. Therefore, I personally remain uncertain whether this trend is positive or not.
Currently
, there is a shrink of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size observed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, as citizens tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more independent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were in the past.
Personally
, I believe that this tendency has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on human life.

In most countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are becoming smaller and more dispersed, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for the development of individuals
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could have more freedom to travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from their home towns.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students choose to study abroad
instead
of going to their local university, and gaining valuable experience from this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more independent as they learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone. As growing in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit, conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members would be
remarkably
limited
in comparison
with a multi-generational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
As a result
, the relationship between all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members is more and more close-knit that would support mentally the development of each members' life.

However
, one-person households are more vulnerable as facing financial and health issues. It is true that life is more complex and difficult,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the costs of living has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dramatically
. Without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it would be impossible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay all living costs such as buying a car, paying a deposit or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
food.
Moreover
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
the elderly, living alone could trigger mental illness such as depression or autism if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
segregate themselves from human contact in the long run.

In conclusion
, the shrink of household size
is accompanied
by both merits and demerits.
Therefore
, I
personally
remain uncertain whether this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or not.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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