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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v.14

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 14
Nowadays, a lot of toys, ranging from simple dolls to complicated electronic gadgets like Video games, are provided for some children by their parents. I think this is not a problem Provided children are sufficiently active and care for their toys. One of the important advantages of children having lots of toys is that there are different Games for them to play. They can choose one of their toys according to their mood and Taste, and are less likely to become bored. Besides, they would certainly be able to learn a Wider variety of skills like problem solving or organization. Different toys can teach them Different things, which means that the more toys they have, the more they are likely to Learn. However, having a lot of different toys could possibly lead to children becoming overweight Since many modern toys like video games and LEGOs, which are very common these days, Are usually played indoors. Therefore, they would definitely reduce children’s physical Activity, leading them to gain extra weight. Furthermore, when kids have too many toys, It is likely that they will take less care of them. In other words, they will probably not Learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready to play with. Consequently, They would not learn to appreciate their belongings. In conclusion, I believe that children benefit from an abundance of toys which offer them Variety, as well as teaching them more varied skills. However, it is important that they Keep an active lifestyle and are taught to value every toy.
Nowadays,
a lot of
toys
, ranging from simple dolls to complicated electronic gadgets like

Video games,
are provided
for
some
children
by their parents. I
think
this is not a
problem


Provided
children
are
sufficiently
active and care for their toys.

One of the
important
advantages of
children
having lots of
toys
is that there are
different


Games for them to play. They can choose one of their
toys
according to their mood
and


Taste, and are less likely to become bored.
Besides
, they would
certainly
be able to learn a

Wider variety of
skills
like problem solving or organization.
Different
toys
can teach
them


Different
things, which means that the more
toys
they have, the more they are likely to

Learn.

However
, having
a lot of
different
toys
could
possibly
lead to
children
becoming overweight

Since
many
modern
toys
like video games and
LEGOs
, which are
very
common these days,

Are
usually
played indoors.
Therefore
, they would definitely
reduce
children’s
physical

Activity, leading them to gain extra weight.
Furthermore
, when kids have too
many
toys,

It is likely that they will take less care of them.
In other words
, they will
probably
not


Learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready to play with.
Consequently
,

They would not learn to appreciate their belongings.

In conclusion
, I believe that
children
benefit from an abundance of
toys
which offer them

Variety,
as well
as teaching them more varied
skills
.
However
, it is
important
that they

Keep
an active lifestyle and
are taught
to value every
toy
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 14

Essay
  American English
19 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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