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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v.11

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 11
Nowadays, most of the parents are showing interest in buying a large number of toys in different varieties. At times they might think to make their children happy, they have to buy something which they like. I want to discuss more in details why parents are showing interest in buying the toys for their kids. A very few parents, usually buy gifts to encourage their younger ones in studies and they want to involve them in playing themselves in spite of watching the tv and playing the video games. If we take a closer look it is good in one way buying toys for memorable occasions. If kids like toys they will learn a lot from playing with them. In spite of spending time with unnecessary activities it's good to spend time in exploring with their favourite playmates. Despite of all these advantages, there are certain disadvantages too. We will end up with spending more money on buying the toys and there is a chance of children habituated to play with toys than other physical activities. Another disadvantage is they will spread the toys all over the house. Cleaning and arranging home will be a challenging task for parents. I want to conclude by saying how many toys they need we need to buy that many toys only. If we do so we can end up saving some time and money. Due to the above mentioned activity we can let our younger ones know the value of money and best utilization of whatever things we had in our hands.
Nowadays, most of the parents are showing interest in
buying
a large number of
toys
in
different
varieties. At
times they
might
think
to
make
their children happy, they
have to
buy
something which they like.

I want to discuss more in
details
why parents are showing interest in
buying
the
toys
for their kids. A
very
few parents,
usually
buy
gifts to encourage their younger
ones
in
studies and
they want to involve them in playing themselves
in spite of
watching the
tv
and playing the video games.

If we take a closer look it is
good
in one way
buying
toys
for memorable occasions.
If
kids like
toys
they will learn a lot from playing with them.
In spite of
spending
time
with unnecessary activities it's
good
to spend
time
in exploring with their
favourite
playmates.

Despite of
all these advantages, there are certain disadvantages too. We will
end
up with spending more money on
buying
the
toys
and there is a chance of children habituated to play with
toys
than other physical activities. Another disadvantage is they will spread the
toys
all over the
house
. Cleaning and arranging home will be a challenging task for parents.

I want
to conclude
by saying how
many
toys
they need we need to
buy
that
many
toys
only
. If we do
so
we can
end
up saving
some
time
and money. Due to the above mentioned activity we can
let
our younger
ones
know the value of money and best utilization of whatever things we had in our hands.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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