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Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. Theydont want their children to read entertainment books becuase they think it is a waste of time. Do you agree/ DIsagree with their opinion? v.4

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. Theydont want their children to read entertainment books becuase they think it is a waste of time. Do you agree/ DIsagree with their opinion? v. 4
Many countries in the world have publicly funded health care system to help their people can access good doctors or medical. Cost of medical care and medicine may expensive, especially in serious illness, so this organization can support finance to treat their ailments. But some people want to pay their money for faster and better treatment. I believe this system was created for every person, thus paying more money than normal should not accept. Public-funded health care system should be a fair system. However, generally this system often lacks funding and not have enough money all the time. Yet, if someone argue that they willing to pay more money is not appropriate because it is a cutting in line. For example, who have a lot of salary can go to see a doctor first, it means the poor people, almost have the number than rich people, might be left or waited for many days or long hours. When someone has been a serious illness, they cannot be cured in time. The house or business cannot be built by only money, we want to have laboured. If all of them sick, who will help us. This is only one of two reasons why using money faster do not work in the long term. For this organization, it should be equal for any class in society. If somebody wants to pay for better treatment they should go to a private hospital. They can treat you better and faster than public-fund system. It can help this system save a lot of money. For instance, if you have cancer, but you have enough cash you can go to the private clinic to take the best treatment instead wait in queue in public health care for getting a normal remedy. It can save a lot of payment and time for this system and also the poor people can see the doctors faster. In conclusion, public-funded health care system ought to be an equal system for all citizens. Who want to receive better or faster should go to the private hospital or clinic. This system often not have enough funds, however, if we have enough money should contribute your money because this can help enormous people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries in the world have
publicly
funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doctors or medical. Cost of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and medicine may expensive,
especially
in serious illness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this organization can support finance to treat their ailments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
treatment. I believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
was created
for every person,
thus
paying more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than normal should not accept.

Public-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
However
,
generally
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lacks funding and not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
all the time.
Yet
, if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "argues", "argued".
argue
that
Did you mean "they're willing", "they are willing", or "they were willing"?
they willing
to pay more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not appropriate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a cutting in line.
For example
, who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
salary can go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a doctor
first
, it means the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, almost have the number than rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
or waited for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days or long hours. When someone has been a serious illness, they cannot
be cured
in time. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or business cannot
be built
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have
Possible spelling mistake. 'laboured' is British English.
laboured
. If all of them sick, who will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of two reasons why using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
do not work in the long term.

For this organization, it should be equal for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in society. If somebody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
treatment they should go to a private hospital. They can treat you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
than public-fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, if you have cancer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
cash you can go to the private clinic to take the best treatment
instead
wait in queue in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for getting a normal remedy. It can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
payment and time for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and
also
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the doctors faster.

In conclusion
, public-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
ought to be an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
for all citizens. Who
Did you mean "wants"?
want
to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
should go to the private hospital or clinic. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
funds,
however
, if we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should contribute your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. Theydont want their children to read entertainment books becuase they think it is a waste of time. Do you agree/ DIsagree with their opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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