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More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7
It is a proven fact that in today's society is dependent on playing computers and tablets in order to learn technology skills with the permission of their parents. In my opinion, it is undoubtedly true to say its drawbacks are far greater than the advantages of this development. There are certainly a number of accepted reasons that parents should not allow their offspring to play computers. First and foremost, to sit in front of computer screens the whole day causes lifelong damage such as it leads to shortsightedness. Also, these children are more likely to be bad-tempered, more stressful and more aggressive. For example, a recent survey by Cambridge University found that children who are playing computers or laptops were 88%of them significantly more likely to lose their temper when someone disturbs them all off as sudden. Furthermore, so much access to the internet may spoil the youngsters. They have instant access to date that should be avoided morally, ethically as well as socially. Nevertheless, there are also advantages also to using these devices. So if we allow our children to learn this information through tabs and computers this will help them to be aware of technological development and will generate their further interest in the field of science. For instance, my own neighbour was brought up around screens and always played on computers and laptops, he is now a student, hence, outperforms most of his classmates in terms of technology. To conclude, although there are advantages related to play computers, the demerits clearly outweigh benefits.
It is a proven fact that in
today
's society is dependent on playing computers and tablets in order to learn technology
skills
with the permission of their parents. In my opinion, it is
undoubtedly
true to say its drawbacks are far greater than the advantages of this development.

There are
certainly
a number of
accepted
reasons that parents should not
allow
their offspring to play computers.
First
and foremost, to sit in front of computer screens the whole day causes lifelong damage such as it leads to shortsightedness.
Also
, these children are more likely to be
bad
-tempered, more stressful and more aggressive.
For example
, a recent survey by Cambridge University found that children who are playing computers or laptops were 88%of them
significantly
more likely to lose their temper when someone disturbs them all off as sudden.
Furthermore
,
so
much access to the internet may spoil the youngsters. They have instant access to date that should
be avoided
morally
,
ethically
as well
as
socially
.

Nevertheless
, there are
also
advantages
also
to using these devices.
So
if we
allow
our children to learn this information through tabs and computers this will
help
them to be aware of technological development and will generate their
further
interest in the field of science.
For instance
, my
own
neighbour
was brought
up around screens and always played on computers and laptops, he is
now
a student,
hence
, outperforms most of his classmates in terms of technology.

To conclude
, although there are advantages related to play computers, the demerits
clearly
outweigh benefits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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