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Some Organizations believed that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some Organizations believed that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work. v. 1
The terms and conditions set by any company for its workers are known as job requirements. In my opinion, physical appearance of officials in any organization is as important as their working skills during office hours. (36) We had seen in the past that there were no specific job requirements for people working in any organization excluding uniform positions. All the employees were judged by their work rather than their outlook in the past. (37) Presently, it is compulsory for a person working in a bank, hospital, shopping centre or in any organization to look nice and smart as he has to interact with different people during his work time. Whereas, this condition seems irrelevant for those who worked online on computers while sitting at home or those employed in the production units of different organizations. In such situations, the quality of work has always given preference. (72) The recent development in job industry has bound the employees to follow certain dress codes in many departments. Nowadays, while hiring staff, the employers also consider applicants personality in addition to their academic qualifications and experiences. Thus, if the employers keep on improving their attitude towards professionalism, then it will become necessary for applicants to have high working skills as well as smart look in order to meet the requirements of certain jobs. (73) Thus, in my opinion, both quality of work and physical appearance are important in the professional atmosphere. The quality of work boosts the reputation of any organization while the physical appearance builds our good impression among those who worked with us. (41)
The terms and conditions set by any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for its workers
are known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements. In my opinion, physical appearance of officials in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during office hours. (36)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that there were no specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
excluding uniform positions. All the employees
were judged
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than their outlook in the past. (37)

Presently
, it is compulsory for a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a bank, hospital, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
or in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
to look nice and smart as he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
during his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
time. Whereas, this condition seems irrelevant for those who worked online on computers while sitting at home or those employed in the production units of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. In such situations, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preference. (72)

The recent development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
industry has bound the employees to follow certain dress codes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
departments. Nowadays, while hiring staff, the employers
also
consider applicants personality
in addition
to their academic qualifications and experiences.
Thus
, if the employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on improving their attitude towards professionalism, then it will become necessary for applicants to have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as smart look in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. (73)

Thus
, in my opinion, both quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and physical appearance are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the professional atmosphere. The quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
boosts the reputation of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
while the physical appearance builds our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression among those who worked with us. (41)
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some Organizations believed that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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