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Information Technology is changing the many aspects of our lives and now dominates on home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of Information Technology outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

Many years ago, it was so hard to know such a word like Information technology but nowadays it is clear that most of us know about the globalization and the rapid development and innovation in technology department not only in our work activities but also in our private homes and leisure activities. Crystal clear that Information technology has changed our lives, for example contacting people became so easy using mobile phones, finaicial dealings became thourgh online applications, booking flight tickets. . etc. In my opinion information technology makes many things easier than before, looking in more detail at for example a scientific reaserach, students and researchers had to do a massive efforts to get information about any topic and they had to go to libraries and to read encyclopideas to accomplish their reaserches, in contrast, today it is extreamely easy to find any kind of information your need thought your computer, laptop or even your mobile phone by searching through engines search, In the other hand, world becam e more complicated place for those who can't deal with technology, for old gennerations who didn't raise up with computers and cell phones and defenetely that creates a gap between generations as we notice in recent era. Most of children nowadays used to have technology items, it is clear that they will suffer from distance socialism in their life because hey used to play individual on their items and didn't deal with people in a proper way in real life and didn't play sports with each others like football as we did during our childhood. At the end, information technology has great benefits for human being but will create new social and psychology diseases for all of us in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
years ago, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to know such a word like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that most of us know about the globalization and the rapid development and innovation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
department not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in our work activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in our private homes and leisure activities.

Crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
for example
contacting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy using mobile phones,
Possible spelling mistake found.
finaicial
dealings became
Possible spelling mistake found.
thourgh
online applications, booking flight tickets.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
etc
.

In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, looking in more detail at
for example
a scientific
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaserach
, students and researchers had to do
The plural noun “efforts” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a massive effort” or “massive efforts”?
a massive efforts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about any
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
topic and
they had to go to libraries and to read
Possible spelling mistake found.
encyclopideas
to accomplish their
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaserches
,
in contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
extreamely
easy to find any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
your need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
your computer, laptop or even your mobile phone by searching through engines search,

In the other hand, world
Possible spelling mistake found.
becam e
more complicated place for those who can't deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
gennerations
who didn't raise up with computers and cell phones and
Possible spelling mistake found.
defenetely
that creates a gap between generations as we notice in recent era.

After ‘Most of’, you should use ‘the’ (“Most of the children”) or simply say “Most children”.
Most of children
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
items, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they will suffer from distance socialism in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
hey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play individual on their items and didn't deal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “properly” to avoid wordiness.
in a proper way
in real life and didn't play sports with each
The plural noun “others” doesn’t fit after the quantifier “each”. A possessive apostrophe may be missing, or you meant the singular form.
others
like football as we did during our childhood.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has great benefits for human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will create new social and psychology diseases for all of us in the future.
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Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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