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Some universities are now offered their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive development or a negative development? v.1

Some universities are now offered their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive development or a negative development? v. 1
The method of acquiring education over the internet is called online study. Online study not only provides education but also saves our valuable time. Therefore, I strongly agreed that the benefits of this development are more significant than its drawbacks. (40) We had seen in the past that people had lack of education. In many parts of the world, students were not able to continue their education because they had limited resources or the institutions of higher education are far from their homes. (42) Presently, all the big education institutions and universities are offering online courses for students. Nowadays, online study is providing a number of benefits to students. For example, it allows students to enrol themselves in various courses and get certifications while sitting at home. Similarly, it also offers flexibility in the study. The learners of online courses are free to do their studies whenever and wherever they want. In addition, this method of study offers open access to anybody who is willing to get education regardless of his age, location, and background. Although, online study has some drawbacks like lack of communication and teamwork skills, however, its advantages are far greater than its disadvantages. (112) The recent development in information technology has enabled the students to participate in any online course, just by a single click of the mouse. Thus, if the popularity of online study keeps on increasing, then it will surely become the easiest way of getting an education in the near future. (48) Thus, I believed that online course offered by universities greatly helps students to pursue higher education as they do not require them to go to any institution.
The method of acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
over the internet
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
saves our valuable time.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the benefits of this development are more significant than its drawbacks. (40)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were not able to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had limited resources or the institutions of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are far from their homes. (42)

Presently
, all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions and universities are offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is providing a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enrol themselves in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
certifications while sitting at home.
Similarly
, it
also
offers flexibility in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. The learners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are free to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
whenever and wherever they want.
In addition
, this method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
offers open access to anybody who is willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
regardless of his age, location, and background. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks like lack of communication and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
however
, its advantages are far greater than its disadvantages. (112)

The recent development in information technology has enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by a single click of the mouse.
Thus
, if the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on increasing, then it will
surely
become the easiest way of getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the near future. (48)

Thus
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
offered by universities
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they do not require them to go to any institution.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some universities are now offered their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive development or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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