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Some of the schools insist that all students have their own laptop in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students' education or would it be an unnecessary complication? v.1

Some of the schools insist that all students have their own laptop in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students' education or would it be an unnecessary complication? v. 1
These days, lots of schools persist in having a personal portable computer for every one of their students to enhance and facilitate their learning progress. I believe it would be beneficial. Firstly, we should be aware of changes in every aspect of our life. Everything is changing at a dramatic pace and education is not an exception. Some school staffs believe using a laptop is an integral part of modern methods of education. It can be beneficial, for instance, students can take advantage of this gadget to do their assignments or using a brand-new software such as PowerPoint or other software to improve the quality of learning. Secondly, they can bring their laptop home and use it as a communication device, to ask a question of their teachers or even take an online course and keep learning progress at home. On the other hand, using a laptop for everyone might have downsides. Firstly, using gadgets can be distracting for some pupils who are suffering from some learning-disorders such as A. D. H. D students. In practice, I have never done any of my homework because I easily distracted and lose trace of education and finally it led to video games. Secondly, a laptop will increase the costs of education while lots of less-advantaged families will not afford it. And, it can threaten the initial aim of free education for everyone. In conclusion, I think using a laptop or any gadget can be a double-edged phenomenon. And, it has immense repercussions, but we must consider carefully about its downsides as well.
These days, lots of schools persist in having a personal portable computer for every one of their students to enhance and facilitate their learning progress. I believe it would be beneficial.

Firstly
, we should be aware of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in every aspect of our life. Everything is changing at a dramatic pace and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not an exception.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
school staffs believe using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
is an integral part of modern methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It can be beneficial,
for instance
, students can take advantage of this gadget to do their assignments or using a brand-new software such as PowerPoint or other software to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of learning.
Secondly
, they can bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a communication device, to ask a question of their teachers or even take an online course and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
learning progress at home.

On the other hand
, using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
for everyone might have downsides.
Firstly
, using gadgets can be distracting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils who are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
learning-disorders such as A. D. H. D students. In practice, I have never done any of my homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
easily
distracted and lose trace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
finally
it led to video games.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
will increase the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
while lots of less-advantaged families will not afford it. And, it can threaten the initial aim of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for everyone.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
or any gadget can be a double-edged phenomenon. And, it has immense repercussions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider
carefully
about its downsides
as well
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some of the schools insist that all students have their own laptop in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students' education or would it be an unnecessary complication? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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