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Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. v.26

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. v. 26
Different methods of advertisement are used in common media and among them few are considered morally controversial and misleading. I agree with the criticism because the promotions made by companies, like tobacco and fashion industries, try to disguise social aspects, give partial information and try to trigger emotions of people to misguide their judgments. First, misusing the freedom of the media and advertisement industry, many companies and brands have started using inappropriate ways to convince the society in buying products. For instance, tobacco companies invest millions of dollars in promotion campaigns, which often include famous celebrities, to increase the number of smokers in our community in order to maintain the flow of their sale. Thus, add-making houses are paid heavily to make the catchy scenario for the people. Therefore, most of the advertisement makers try to introduce a concept that smoking is essential to be manly and someone special. Furthermore, to make the presentation even more realistic they might end up hiring a film or sports stars. As a result, people, especially youths, get distracted. Another feature of immorality could be seen in advertisements made by fashion and cosmetic industries. Fashion industries try to induce a specific pale zero size model image as criteria of an ideal body, which is why, in order to attain that many women, especially girls, end up in a psychological condition like anorexia nervosa or body dysmorphic syndrome. Nevertheless, academic excellence is also markedly affected by those deceptive advertisements.   Though there is no scientific evidence that a cream can make our complexion fair, this is a common scenario in an advertisement made by a beauty cream producers. Finally, hiding real ingredients used in a product and side effects of using it is a common practice in advertisement industries. How ambiguous and confusing it is when every brand claim to be the best!   Creativity and unique concept in advertisements should be used positively- in fact, to let the consumers make informed judgments, not to deceive them. In conclusion, I strongly agree that many advertisements we see or hear break the ethics and morality of our society. Also, the government ought to restrict certain features of freedom given to media, in particular to tobacco and fashion industries. Viewers should be presented with advertisements that are not unethical or inappropriate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in common media and among them few
are considered
morally
controversial and misleading. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the criticism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the promotions made by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, like tobacco and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, try to disguise social aspects, give partial information and try to trigger emotions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to misguide their judgments.

First
, misusing the freedom of the media and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and brands have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using inappropriate ways to convince the society in buying products.
For instance
, tobacco
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
invest millions of dollars in promotion campaigns, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
include
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
, to increase the number of smokers in our community in order to maintain the flow of their sale.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are paid
heavily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the catchy scenario for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
makers try to introduce a concept that smoking is essential to be
manly
and someone special.
Furthermore
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the presentation even more realistic they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hiring a film or sports stars.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
youths,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted.

Another feature of immorality could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
try to induce a specific pale zero size model image as criteria of an ideal body, which is why, in order to attain that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women,
especially
girls,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in a psychological condition like anorexia nervosa or body dysmorphic syndrome.
Nevertheless
, academic excellence is
also
markedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by those deceptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Though there is no scientific evidence that a cream can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our complexion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, this is a common scenario in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
made by a beauty cream producers.

Finally
, hiding real ingredients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a product and side effects of using it is a common practice in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. How ambiguous and confusing it is when every brand claim to be the best!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Creativity and unique concept in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
positively
- in fact, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
informed judgments, not to deceive them.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or hear break the ethics and morality of our society.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to restrict certain features of freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to media,
in particular
to tobacco and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. Viewers should
be presented
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that are not unethical or inappropriate.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. v. 26

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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