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Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree with this? v.20

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. v. 20
Nowadays, lots of different ways are being used by advertising companies to promote their products, however, a few of those are highly unacceptable. I completely agree with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe so. Firstly, we come across many advertisements these days, that use children as their target audience. Although, some of them succeed in leaving a positive impact on children's minds, but unfortunately, many of them have a negative effect on the process of brain development of youngsters. For example, the ad of tiger biscuits being aired on some Pakistani channels depicts that it is the sole source of energy. This compels the children to replace their meals with it, as the ad says that it is far more nutritious than the regular diet. Therefore, children are brainwashed to eat unhealthy food products. Secondly, the method of competition applied by certain advertisement companies is also intolerable. For instance, the never-ending war between mobile networking companies in Pakistan like Ufone and Telenor, can be very clearly seen in their promotions. Their ads contain, the content and language of ugly competition, showing one of them to be perfect and vice versa. Furthermore, this creates a sense of superiority among their users as well, which disrupts the harmony of society. To sum up, the methods used in marketing these days are a detriment to the society. On one hand, they distort the way children think, by making ads that effect their mental growth negatively. On the other hand, they create an undue clash between various advertising companies, which ultimately deteriorates the peace of society.
Nowadays, lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to promote their products,
however
, a few of those are
highly
unacceptable. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Firstly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertisements these days, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as their target audience. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them succeed in leaving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on children's minds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the process of brain development of youngsters.
For example
, the ad of tiger biscuits
being aired
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Pakistani channels depicts that it is the sole source of energy. This compels the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to replace their meals with it, as the ad says that it is far more nutritious than the regular diet.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are brainwashed
to eat unhealthy food products.

Secondly
, the method of competition applied by certain advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
also
intolerable.
For instance
, the never-ending war between mobile networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Pakistan like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ufone
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Telenor
, can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in their promotions. Their ads contain, the content and language of ugly competition, showing one of them to be perfect and vice versa.
Furthermore
, this creates a sense of superiority among their users
as well
, which disrupts the harmony of society.

To sum up, the methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in marketing these days are a detriment to the society. On one hand, they distort the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, by making ads that effect their mental growth
negatively
.
On the other hand
, they create an undue clash between various advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, which
ultimately
deteriorates the peace of society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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