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Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.13

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. v. 13
Nowadays multiple ads are there on the media to lure people and in promoting their product companies sometimes forget about the norms of that culture for whom they are making those ads. I am personally against all those uncivilized ads by which media is influencing the interests of any belief. This essay will discuss the potential damages, these ads are making on the cultures using examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate points and support claims. Firstly, every nation has some policies of what is acceptable as commercials and what is not. That’s why a type of expression is acceptable in one country but thought as obscene in another society because of the norms on which that culture is based. For example, according to a research done by Oxford University in the year 2015 on the ads showcased in the media and it is psychologically proven that too much violence and obscene material in the ads lead to more violence and rape in that particular area where that ad is advertised because people start idealizing these ads sometimes and try to adopt that fashion and type of violence which is shown in the media in the form of ads. So, it’s better that the media show only that which is acceptable in that particular country. Secondly, every culture has its norms on which that society is based. So, if we try to manipulate that culture with the norms of another society, there would be a chance that it spread anarchy in that society and mass killings spread because of that particular media announcement which is showcased in the media. For example, Time magazine in 2016 surveyed the effect of media promotion of products on various think tanks of the world and it came to the conclusion that if we limit our content of ads we will save ourselves from the incidents like Rwanda Mass killing etc. So in order to avoid any mishap in that community, it’s better to show that material which represents the culture of that country. To conclude, nowadays media ads are trying to enforce another culture on people, which is not acceptable to most people. And if we want to avoid any incidents, it’s better to make strong policies and the media is bound to showcase only that material that is acceptable. Once these strict media policies apply to the ads, the popularity of media ads will grow in those people as well, who don't like media because of its bold behaviour.
Nowadays multiple ads are there on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to lure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and in promoting their product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forget about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
for whom they are making those ads. I am
personally
against all those uncivilized ads by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
influencing the interests of any belief. This essay will discuss the potential damages, these ads are making on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
using examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate points and support claims.

Firstly
, every nation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies of what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acceptable
as commercials and what is not. That’s why a type of expression is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acceptable
in one country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as obscene in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
on which that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is based
.
For example
, according to a research done by Oxford University in the year 2015 on the ads showcased in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and it is
psychologically
proven that too much violence and obscene material in the ads lead to more violence and rape in that particular area where that ad
is advertised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
idealizing these ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
and try to adopt that fashion and type of violence which
is shown
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the form of ads.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it’s better that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acceptable
in that particular country.

Secondly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
on which that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is based
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if we try to manipulate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there would be a chance that it spread anarchy in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and mass killings spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
announcement which
is showcased
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, Time magazine in 2016 surveyed the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
promotion of products on various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
tanks of the world and it came to the conclusion that if we limit our content of ads we will save ourselves from the incidents like Rwanda Mass killing etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in order to avoid any mishap in that community, it’s better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that material which represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of that country.

To conclude
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ads are trying to enforce another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acceptable
to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And if we want to avoid any incidents, it’s better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong policies and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is bound
to showcase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that material
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acceptable
. Once these strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
policies apply to the ads, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ads will grow in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
, who don't like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its bold
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
420 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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