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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v.2

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v. 2
It is argued that museums and art galleries should collect money from selling tickets to visitors. This essay will outline that the merits of charging the individuals who want to enter the facilities outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, collecting entrance fee from visitors can help the development of the museums and art galleries. The main reason is that the maintenance and expansion of the organizations cost tremendous money as the revenue of admission is one of the most important and stable cash flow for funding. In addition, there are some people who regard museums are just the free places with air-conditioner to spend all day there, doesn’t be really interested in the exhibition and might disturb other visitors. Therefore, it is necessary to manage the number of this kind of visitors by avoiding free entry policy. On the other hand, the main drawback of charging admission fee is that it might reduce the number of citizens, such as students or teenagers, who have less income. However, this could be avoided by price discrimination. For instance, it can offer specific discount to individuals who offer their student card or provide ID card to prove they are less than 22 years old in the ticket stand. In conclusion, I believe that the benefit of collecting admission fee, in terms of maintenance and management of unwelcome guests, outweighs the downsides. Additionally, the drawback of reduction of needed visitors such as students and teenager can be avoided by offering price discrimination policy
It
is argued
that museums and art galleries should collect money from selling tickets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. This essay will outline that the merits of charging the individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to enter the facilities outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, collecting entrance fee from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the development of the museums and art galleries. The main reason is that the maintenance and expansion of the organizations cost tremendous money as the revenue of admission is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and stable cash flow for funding.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
regard museums are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the free places with air-conditioner to spend all day there, doesn’t be
really
interested in the exhibition and might disturb other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Therefore
, it is necessary to manage the number of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by avoiding free entry policy.

On the other hand
, the main drawback of charging admission fee is that it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of citizens, such as students or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have less income.
However
, this could
be avoided
by price discrimination.
For instance
, it can offer specific discount to individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
offer their student card or provide ID card to prove they are less than 22 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in the ticket stand.

In conclusion
, I believe that the benefit of collecting admission fee, in terms of maintenance and management of unwelcome guests, outweighs the downsides.
Additionally
, the drawback of reduction of needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
such as students and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
can
be avoided
by offering price discrimination policy
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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