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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v.1

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v. 1
At present, the Internet plays a vital role in almost every aspect of human life. As a result, individuals are searching online in order to get reasonable solutions to their illnesses. Not everyone is convinced that access to such information online is safe and helpful. However, in my view, providing the general public with access to trustworthy information about medical disorders would invariably improve the quality of the medical care for the whole society. Nowadays, even though there are plenty of online platforms have been developed for medical education, most of the sites have not been written by professional healthcare providers. Hence, there is a high possibility of spreading wrong medical information throughout the world, unless the site developers are held accountable for the content they provide. If patients receive incorrect information about a medical procedure and follow the wrong advice, for instance, to remove a wart at home, it might lead to a serious infection, excessive bleeding or other medical emergency. That would constitute, a negative effect of using online knowledge for medical treatments at home rather than visiting a professional. On the flip side, for the sake of the Internet, the society is well aware of most common medical disorders and preventive measures. Consequently, a reasonable and prudent individual can decide whether to get a professional opinion on one’s disease or to handle it at home, providing that they get reliable online medical information. Moreover, if patients can manage mild medical problems themselves, it would certainly reduce the workload at the local hospitals, freeing more doctors for patients in real need. Besides, if patients come to a certain extent of knowledge about their condition to the medical consultation, it would invariably be helpful to the medical practitioner for effective decision making. To sum up, it is evident that online search for information on medical disorders can be a positive development as long as the general public receives trustworthy information.
At present, the Internet plays a vital role in almost every aspect of human life.
As a result
, individuals are searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reasonable solutions to their illnesses. Not everyone
is convinced
that access to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is safe and helpful.
However
, in my view, providing the
Consider using "public".
general public
with access to trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
disorders would
invariably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care for the whole society.

Nowadays,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms have
been developed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
education, most of the sites have not
been written
by professional healthcare providers.
Hence
, there is a high possibility of spreading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
throughout the world, unless the site developers
are held
accountable for the content they provide. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
receive incorrect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
procedure and follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
advice,
for instance
, to remove a wart at home, it might lead to a serious infection, excessive bleeding or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
emergency. That would constitute, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments at home
rather
than visiting a professional.

On the flip side, for the sake of the Internet, the society is well aware of most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
disorders and preventive measures.
Consequently
, a reasonable and prudent individual can decide whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a professional opinion on one’s disease or to handle it at home, providing that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
can manage mild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
problems themselves, it would
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the workload at the local hospitals, freeing more doctors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
in real need.
Besides
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a certain extent of knowledge about their condition to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
consultation, it would
invariably
be helpful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practitioner for effective
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.

To sum up, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
disorders can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as long as the
Consider using "public".
general public
receives trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees while others have free entry Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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