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Do you agree or disagree? it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v.59

it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v. 59
Undoubtedly, these days, it is often argued that people are not happy, neither with whatever they have, nor with whatever they will obtain. I fully agree with this fact that not at all people get full satisfaction with whatever they have and they always try to get something more and something different. In turn, this essay will discuss two main reasons of this fact. On the one hand, people think that as they get older, the necessities of them become more, which cause humans to convert to a miserable one. That is to say that children would be completely convinced with small things and consequently they are always happy, while adults are totally inverse, thus adult humans have to learn from their children, quotes from psychiatrists. For example, no doubt, all of us in 20 years old, only needed a mobile phone, but in 30 years old, we want to buy a car and in a 40 year old, we will desire to buy a home, which can affect us to be sad. On the other hand, the nature of humans is totalitarian. For several millions of years, people tried to obtain more and more to discover different things and this fact affected people to evolve such a monopolist. To summarize, some people are of the opinion that people would never be happy with what they have if they feel that they need more, while others are opposed to this view. I am sure that humans try to add their assets more and more every day and based on this fact, they will never be happy with everything that they have.
Undoubtedly
, these days, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, neither with whatever they have, nor with whatever they will obtain. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that not at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
full satisfaction with whatever they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
have and
they always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something more and something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. In turn, this essay will discuss two main reasons of this fact.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, the necessities of them become more, which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to convert to a miserable one.
That is
to say that children would be completely convinced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things and
consequently
they are always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, while adults are
totally
inverse,
thus
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn from their children, quotes from psychiatrists.
For example
, no doubt, all of us in 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needed a mobile phone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car and in a 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, we will desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a home, which can affect us to be sad.

On the other hand
, the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is totalitarian. For several millions of years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tried to obtain more and more to discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and this fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to evolve such a monopolist.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would never be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with what they have if they feel that they need more, while others
are opposed
to this view. I am sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
their assets more and more every day and based on this fact, they will never be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with everything that they have.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v. 59

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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