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Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v.2

Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v. 2
By the galloping rate of technology development, we are facing different methods of educating, which enhances student' s interest and focus. Although some people think technology, especially video games might decrease students' focus on lessons, I strongly oppose this view, and I believe video games would have a profound impact on their lessons. I will elaborate on my reasons in the subsequent essay. Initially, learning fundamental aspects in the young years plays a momentous factor in their life, which prepares them to enter the academic society. Students at a young age do not need to learn the fact and detail they need to learn the issue' s concept, and solving methods, and facing issues. By using video games, not only they learn how to search and solve the questions, but they also would face defeating and winning, which is the basic parameter for the start of the learning. Hence, video games can play a significant role in enhancing the young generation' s interest in lessons. Secondly, psychological studies show that learning with competing and enjoying would have a considerable influence on students' learning process. Video network games have all of the mentioned attitudes. In this regard, students who participate in these games not only learn teamwork and enjoy their results, but they also would motivate themselves by competing with each other. So this would have a significant positive impact on their learning process. Finally, students besides learning lessons, need to comprehend the technology. Video games can play a pivotal role for this purpose. Students who understand the technology and its vast effect on our lives would be fascinated and attracted, and they would effort to learn their lessons more deeply to make a connection between them and technology. So knowing the influence of the technology, which starts with video games, on their lives will provide a good effect on their learning and consequence. To sum up, video games not only help students to learn the concept of education better and attracted them, but it also helps students to know the technology' s effect on our life. In this regard, I suggest to parents and teachers to by providing good learning games, help their children to get a successful outcome in their lessons.
By the galloping rate of
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technology
development, we are facing
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different
methods of educating, which enhances
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student&
#039; s interest and focus. Although
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some
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people
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think
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technology
,
especially
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video
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games
might decrease
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students&
#039; focus on
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lessons
, I
strongly
oppose this view, and I believe
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video
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games
would have a profound impact on their
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lessons
. I will elaborate on my reasons in the subsequent essay.

Initially
,
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learning
fundamental aspects in the young years plays a momentous factor in their life, which prepares them to enter the academic society.
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Students
at a young age do not need to
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learn
the fact and detail they need to
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learn
the
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issue&
#039; s concept, and solving methods, and facing issues. By using
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, not
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only
they
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learn
how to search and solve the questions,
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but
they
also
would face defeating and winning, which is the basic parameter for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
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learning
.
Hence
,
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video
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games
can play a significant role in enhancing the young
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generation&
#039; s interest in lessons.

Secondly
, psychological studies
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show
that
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learning
with competing and enjoying would have a considerable influence on
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students&
#039;
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learning
process.
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Video
network
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games
have
Consider using "all the".
all of the
mentioned attitudes. In this regard,
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students
who participate in these
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games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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learn
teamwork and enjoy their results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
would motivate themselves by competing with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this would have a significant
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positive
impact on their
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learning
process.

Finally
,
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students
besides
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learning
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lessons
, need to comprehend the
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technology
.
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Video
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games
can play a pivotal role for this purpose.
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Students
who understand the
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technology
and its vast effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would
be fascinated
and attracted, and they
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would effort
to
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learn
their
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lessons
more
deeply
to
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make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
them and
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technology
.
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So
knowing the influence of the
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technology
, which
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starts
with
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video
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games
, on their
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lives
will provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on their
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learning
and consequence.

To sum up,
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video
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games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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students
to
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learn
the concept of education better and attracted them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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students
to know the
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technology&
#039; s effect on our life. In this regard, I suggest to parents and teachers to by providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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learning
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games
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a successful outcome in their
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lessons
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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