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Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v.1

Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v. 1
There has been tremendous growth of entertainment media over the last few years. Media influenced numerous people and it becomes an essential part of their life. Some people argue that media is spoiling youngster badly due to the severe brutality that is being used in TV programs and films. However, others state that it keeps us updated with the latest news and a source of entertainment for many. I strongly believe that media has undeniable benefits on people's lives. Media play a vital role in easing our stress and tension. Nowadays people are busy in their hectic routine work, they get very less time for recreational activities. Movies and television provide good sources of entertainment and help us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic in our future work. In addition to this television also provide news and other informative programs which create awareness and enhance our knowledge. However, youngsters are negatively affected by the violence and aggression shown in movies and dramas. They have become less patience and more susceptible to violence. This has also increased the crime rate in the society. People want to act like their favourite celebrity in real life, which cause many problems. For Instance, people start fighting over a small dispute which could turn into a battlefield on a later stage. Fashion and style that youngsters often follow because of their favourite actor or actress are often unacceptable in many societies. In conclusion, I believe that we should use media as a fun activity rather than highlight its negative aspects. It is also recommended to remove violence. Finally, movies and TV have more positive effects and should be the mandatory part of everyone's life.
There has been tremendous growth of entertainment
media
over the last few years.
Media
influenced numerous
people
and it becomes an essential part of their life.
Some
people
argue that
media
is spoiling youngster
badly
due to the severe brutality
that is
being
used
in TV programs and films.
However
, others state that it
keeps
us updated with the latest news and a source of entertainment for
many
. I
strongly
believe that
media
has undeniable benefits on
people
's
lives
.

Media play a vital role in easing our
stress
and tension. Nowadays
people
are busy in their hectic routine work, they
get
very
less time for recreational activities. Movies and television provide
good
sources of entertainment and
help
us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic in our future work.
In addition
to this television
also
provide news and other informative programs which create awareness and enhance our knowledge.

However
, youngsters are
negatively
affected
by the violence and aggression shown in movies and dramas. They have become less patience and more susceptible to violence. This has
also
increased the crime rate in the society.
People
want to act like their
favourite
celebrity in real life, which cause
many
problems.
For Instance
,
people
start
fighting over a
small
dispute which could turn into a battlefield on a later stage. Fashion and style that youngsters
often
follow
because
of their
favourite
actor or actress are
often
unacceptable in
many
societies.

In conclusion
, I believe that we should
use
media
as a fun activity
rather
than highlight its
negative
aspects. It is
also
recommended to remove
violence.
Finally
, movies and TV have more
positive
effects and should be the mandatory part of everyone's life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some lessons for young students 5 8 years old increase their interest to learn including video games But some people believe it will distract young students What is your opinion Why v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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