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Some high schools require all students to wear auniform to school. Other schools allow students towear whatever they want. Which policy do you think isbetter and why? v.1

Some high schools require all students to wear auniform to school. Other schools allow students towear whatever they want. Which policy do you think isbetter and why? v. 1
Many people hold the view that university education should be free to everyone regardless of their background; however, others think that students attending university should take responsibility for the tuition fee because of the higher salary they can have after obtaining a university degree. From my point of view, I agree with the latter view and this essay will provide the reasonings for both views. On the one hand, it is easy to understand why some people think the government should provide free tertiary education. First, since parents will be encouraged to send their children to school. In fact, without concerning about the fee, more and more students will have a chance to study at university after graduating from the high school to get higher education and skills which will be essential in later life. Second, without paying any cost, students will concentrate on studying and extracurricular activities. Clearly, instead of exhausting themselves with part-time jobs to cover both tuition fees and living costs, they have more time for studying, playing sports, volunteering or pursuing an internship. On the other hand, I must side with those who think students and parents should take responsibility for their tuition fees when studying at university. First, providing free university education might push the government to the verge of bankruptcy. Besides education, the government budget is used to invest in technology, transportation, infrastructure and health care. With the growth of the number of students studying tuition-free, there will not be enough money for other services which are also essential to residents. Furthermore, the quality of education will be better with the financial support from students and their parents. Students will have an effective studying environment with well-equipped facilities and well-qualified teachers. If students are accountable for their tuition fees, they will value more the lessons, have a deep understanding and put what they learn into practice effectively. In conclusion, while attending university without fee helps students with financial problems, I feel it brings about more benefits to society and students themselves when they pay the full cost for their education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be free to everyone regardless of their background;
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should take responsibility for the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the higher salary they can have after obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view and this essay will provide the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
for both views.

On the one hand, it is easy to understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide free tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
First
, since parents will
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to school. In fact, without concerning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have a chance to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after graduating from the high school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will be essential in later life. Second, without paying any cost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and extracurricular activities.
Clearly
,
instead
of exhausting themselves with part-time jobs to cover both tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
and living costs, they have more time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, playing sports, volunteering or pursuing an internship.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
side with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and parents should take responsibility for their tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
First
, providing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
might push the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to the verge of bankruptcy.
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to invest in technology, transportation, infrastructure and health care. With the growth of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
tuition-free, there will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for other services which are
also
essential to residents.
Furthermore
, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be better with the financial support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their parents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will have an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
environment with well-equipped facilities and well-qualified teachers. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are accountable for their tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, they will value more the lessons, have a deep understanding and put what they learn into practice
effectively
.

In conclusion
, while attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with financial problems, I feel it brings about more benefits to society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves when they pay the full cost for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some high schools require all students to wear auniform to school. Other schools allow students towear whatever they want. Which policy do you think isbetter and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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