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Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v.1

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v. 1
It is true that some secondary schools require their students to wear uniforms, while others allow their students to wear free clothing. Both policies have their own positive points, but I personally think that it is better for high school students to wear uniforms. To begin with, it is common that some high schools do not require their students to wear uniforms. They believe that uniforms should not be the main concern of education, and schools should focus more on the curriculum quality and learning process than focusing on dresses. Besides that, they also believe that spending on school uniforms is also a waste of money, as the fund could be allocated for other important matters such as books or stationary. On the other hand, for a number of reasons many secondary education institutions necessitate their students to wear school uniforms. These institutions believe that by wearing school uniforms, students will learn about discipline; and how to wear proper and formal clothing. By allowing the students to wear free clothes, there might be a risk that students will wear inappropriate clothing during school hours. And then with the existence of school uniforms, it will not differentiate the economic class of students. Although some students might come from a wealthy family, they must wear the same quality clothing as the other students who come from various backgrounds. In conclusion, it is a fact that wearing school uniforms has become mandatory for several secondary education institutions, but there are other institutions who allow their students to decide their own clothes. Both points of views have their own advantages, but I believe that wearing school uniforms for high school students is more favourable than wearing free clothes.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
require their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
free clothing. Both policies have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better for high
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
uniforms.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is common that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not require their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
should not be the main concern of education, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should focus more on the curriculum quality and learning process than focusing on dresses.
Besides
that, they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
is
also
a waste of money, as the fund could
be allocated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters such as books or stationary.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, for a number of reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
secondary education institutions necessitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. These institutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will learn about discipline; and how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
proper and formal clothing. By allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
free clothes, there might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
inappropriate clothing during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours. And then with the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
, it will not differentiate the economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a wealthy family, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same quality clothing as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from various backgrounds.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
has become mandatory for several secondary education institutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
institutions who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothes. Both points of views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
than wearing free clothes.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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