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Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
School is a place where people from different walks of life come together under one roof to learn, socialise and create a foundation for their future lives. These institutions offer same set of tools for all without any discrimination. However, the freedom granted does command responsibility in exchange. I believe having a uniform dress code at learning institutes are a must. It gives students a sense of belonging and teaches them to respect the regulations. Irrespective of where they come from, a common uniform makes them feel part of a close knit social group. This feeling gives them a lot of confidence and mental support to individuals in a society. It is very important to cultivate the habit of respecting peers, no matter where they come from. For example, the school I went to, had a uniform and it gave me immense pride each time I wore it. All students unitedly had an urge to compete with other schools in various inter-school events. For those, who do not mandate students to wear a specific form of dress, the culture of such places is very unstable. Allowing people to wear their choice of clothing can create a lot of disturbance in the society. Young guys and girls from the higher strata will flaunt their rich and flashy outfits. This can divide the batch into rich and poor peer groups and there will be no information exchange among each other. It can adversely impact the mental state of many people at a very young age. Instead of focusing on gaining knowledge, students may give a lot more importance to money, what they wear and how others judge them in the society. To sum up, I think it is best for schools to make it mandatory for students to wear school uniforms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is a place where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
walks of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together under one roof to learn,
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and create a foundation for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. These institutions offer same set of tools for all without any discrimination.
However
, the freedom granted does command responsibility in exchange.

I believe having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
dress code at learning institutes are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. It gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a sense of belonging and teaches them to respect the regulations. Irrespective of where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from, a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel part of a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
close knit
social group. This feeling gives them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
confidence and mental support to individuals in a society. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to cultivate the habit of respecting peers, no matter where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I went to, had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
and it gave me immense pride each time I wore it. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
unitedly
had an urge to compete with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in various inter-school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

For those, who do not mandate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a specific form of dress, the culture of such places is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unstable. Allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
their choice of clothing can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disturbance in the society. Young guys and girls from the higher strata will flaunt their rich and flashy outfits. This can divide the batch into rich and poor peer groups and there will be no information exchange among each other.

It can
adversely
impact the mental state of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
Instead
of focusing on gaining knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may give a lot more importance to money, what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
and how others judge them in the society.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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