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Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do agree or disagree? v.1

Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do agree or disagree? v. 1
The ban of smoking in public places is happening in many countries. There are advantages and disadvantages of the ban of smoking in public. Therefore, this essay will discuss both positives and negatives. Moreover, this essay will explain why this essay tends to agree with the ban on smoking in public. Firstly, the smoking in public areas makes a pollution problem badly. Many people already know about the bad effects on the smoking and they don’t want to smell especially pregnant women. Each year many people die due to the lung cancer. Not only the smoking has effects on a smoker, but it also affects people near a smoker. Thus, many governments have amended the law about the smoking in public. For example, in Japan, the government don’t allow citizens to exhaust in public, but they have special areas for smoking. As a result, Japanese people have a good habit to smoke in smoking areas. However, there are some people that against to exhaust in smoking areas. Those people refer to the human right, but they don’t care about public people. Some people, who are addicted to smoking, can not stay longer without smoking. They feel that the ban on smoking has bad effects on their routine life. In conclusion, this study agrees that governments should restriction the smoking in public areas because there are many drawbacks of the smoking. If governments look to a population of people, who are smoking, and people, who are not smoking, they will see that there are fewer smokers than people who don’t smoke. As a result, That’s the right thing that some governments ban the smoking in public spaces.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places is happening in
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many
countries. There are advantages and disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
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public
.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss both positives and negatives.
Moreover
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this essay tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
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ban
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public.

Firstly
, the
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smoking
in
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a pollution problem
badly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
already know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smoking and
they don’t want to smell
especially
pregnant women. Each year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to the lung cancer. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
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smoking
has effects on a smoker,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
affects
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people
near a smoker.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have amended the law about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
For example
, in Japan, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
citizens to exhaust in
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public
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have special
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areas
for
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smoking
.
As a result
, Japanese
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people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit to smoke in
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smoking
areas.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
that against to exhaust in
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smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refer to the human right,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don’t care about
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
,
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who
are addicted
to
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smoking
, can not stay longer without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. They feel that the
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ban
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on their routine life.

In conclusion
, this study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
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governments
should restriction the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. If
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governments
look to a population of
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people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not
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smoking
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are fewer smokers than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t smoke.
As a result
, That’s the right thing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spaces.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do agree or disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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