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Some experts believe that it is better fof children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v.1

Some experts believe that it is better fof children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 1
AFTER COMING OF THE NEWER TECHNOLOGIES, MANY HOUSEHOLD CHORES ARE BEING PERFORMED BY ELECTRONIC DEVICES RATHER THAN MANUALLY. WHAT I THINK IS THAT THIS INOVATION BRINGS BOTH MYRID OF PROS AND CONS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THIS REVOLUTION IS GIVING BENEFITS AND LOSS. TO START WITH ADVANTAGES, THE PRIME BENEFIT OF THE MACHINE IS THAT IT HAS REDUCED MANUALLY WORK LOAD AND TIME. TO ELABORATE, MACHINES CAN DO 100 PEOPLE WORK ALONE AT A TIME. FOR AN INSTANCE, IN THE PAST, PEOPLE HANDLED ACCOUNT MANUALLY WHICH WAS TIME CONSUMING AND NEEDED ATLEAST 2 PEOPLE FOR ACCURATE COUNTING, BUT NOW ONE COMPUTER ALONE CAN DO THAT IN SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WE JUST NEED TO ENTER THE DATE IN THE COMPUTER THAT IS ALL. IN ADDITION TO THIS, PEOPLE HAVE MORE TIME FOR OTHER WORKS LIKE, COOKING, SPENDING MORE TIME WITH FAMILY ETC. TO EXPAND IT IN DETAILS, BEFORE WOMEN HAD TO STAY AT ONE PLACE AND FOCUS ON ONE TASK BUT IN THIS MACHINE OPERATED WORLD WHERE WE JUST NEED TO SET THE CRITERIA AS PER OUR CONVIENCE. FOR AN EXAMPLE, TO WASH CLOTHS IN WASHING MACHINE, HUMAN NEED TO POUR THE CLOTH WITH WASHING POWDER OR LIQUID AND JUST SET THE TIME WITH WASHING AND DRYING TIME AND PRESS THE START BUTTON, MEAN WHILE THEY CAN COOK OR LOOK AFTER CHILDREN ETC. HOWEVER, THIS MACHINES DEMAND MORE MAINTANCE WHICH IS HIGHLY EXPENSIVE FOR MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE TO AFFORD IT. IN THE TERMS OF DEMERITS, THIS TOO HAVE ENORMOUS DRAWBACKS, FIRSTLY, DUE TO TECHNOLOGY, INDIVIDUALS ARE HAVING MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM WHICH WILL START WITH THE MINOR AND END UP IN TO THE MAJOR PROBLEM SUCH AS OBESITY. TO EXPLAIN IT, PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE LASY AS MACHINES ARE AVILABLE TO DO THEIR WORK SO THE ONE IS SPENID MORE TIME BY SITTING AND EATING ON THE ONE PLACE RATHER ENGAGING IN TO SOME OTHER WORK WHICH REQUIRE PHYSICAL WORK LIKE SPORTS OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES ETC. FOR AN EXAMPLE, WATCHING TV OR PLAYING GAME RATHER GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY OR DO SOME USEFUL THINGS WHILE MACHINES ARE DOING THEIR WORK. THIS LEADS TO OBESITY AND DUE TO OBESITY PEOPLE MAY HAVE SOME HEART PROBLEMS. SECONDLY, FROM THE GOVERNMENT POINT OF VIES THIS REVOLUTION WORKS ESPECIALLY ON ELECTRICITY OR SOME KIND OF FUELS LIKE DISEIL, PETROL. THIS INCREASES MORE CONSUMPTION INSTEAD OF PRODUCTION. THUS GOVERNMENT HAS TO PAY OR WORK MORE ON TO RISE MORE ELECTRIC POWER AND THAT TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM. TO CONCLUDE, UNDOUBTABLY MAN MADE WORKS ARE NOW REPLACED WITH THE MACHINE WORKS. BUT NO ONE SHOULD US NEGLATE THE DISADVANTAGES. SO USE IT WISELY WHEN NEEDED.
AFTER COMING OF THE NEWER TECHNOLOGIES,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
HOUSEHOLD CHORES ARE
BEING PERFORMED
BY ELECTRONIC DEVICES
RATHER
THAN
MANUALLY
. WHAT I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
IS THAT THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
INOVATION
BRINGS BOTH
Possible spelling mistake found.
MYRID
OF PROS AND CONS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THIS REVOLUTION IS GIVING BENEFITS AND LOSS.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH ADVANTAGES, THE PRIME BENEFIT OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINE
IS THAT IT HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCED
MANUALLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
LOAD AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
. TO ELABORATE,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINES
CAN DO 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
ALONE AT A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
. FOR AN INSTANCE, IN THE PAST,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HANDLED ACCOUNT
MANUALLY
WHICH WAS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
CONSUMING AND NEEDED
Possible spelling mistake found.
ATLEAST
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
FOR ACCURATE COUNTING,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
ONE COMPUTER ALONE CAN DO THAT IN SHORT PERIOD OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
WE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
NEED TO ENTER THE DATE IN THE COMPUTER
THAT IS
ALL.
IN ADDITION
TO THIS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
FOR OTHER WORKS LIKE, COOKING, SPENDING MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
WITH FAMILY ETC. TO EXPAND IT IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DETAILS
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
WOMEN HAD TO STAY AT ONE PLACE AND FOCUS ON ONE TASK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IN THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINE
OPERATED WORLD WHERE WE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
NEED TO SET THE CRITERIA AS PER OUR
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONVIENCE
. FOR AN EXAMPLE, TO WASH CLOTHS IN WASHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINE
, HUMAN NEED TO POUR THE CLOTH WITH WASHING POWDER OR LIQUID AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
SET THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
WITH WASHING AND DRYING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
AND PRESS THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
BUTTON,
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
MEAN WHILE
THEY CAN COOK OR LOOK AFTER CHILDREN ETC.
HOWEVER
, THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINES
DEMAND MORE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MAINTANCE
WHICH IS
HIGHLY
EXPENSIVE FOR MIDDLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLASS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO AFFORD IT.

IN THE TERMS OF DEMERITS, THIS
Did you mean "to HAVE"?
TOO HAVE
ENORMOUS DRAWBACKS,
FIRSTLY
, DUE TO TECHNOLOGY, INDIVIDUALS ARE HAVING MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM WHICH WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH THE MINOR AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
UP IN TO THE MAJOR PROBLEM SUCH AS OBESITY. TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
IT,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE BECOMING MORE
Possible spelling mistake found.
LASY
AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINES
ARE
Possible spelling mistake found.
AVILABLE
TO DO THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THE ONE IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
SPENID
MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
BY SITTING AND EATING ON THE ONE PLACE
RATHER
ENGAGING IN TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
WHICH REQUIRE PHYSICAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
LIKE SPORTS OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES ETC. FOR AN EXAMPLE, WATCHING TV OR PLAYING GAME
RATHER
GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY OR DO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
USEFUL THINGS WHILE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINES
ARE DOING THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
. THIS LEADS TO OBESITY AND DUE TO OBESITY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
MAY HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
HEART PROBLEMS.
SECONDLY
, FROM THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
POINT OF VIES THIS REVOLUTION WORKS
ESPECIALLY
ON ELECTRICITY OR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
KIND OF FUELS LIKE
Possible spelling mistake found.
DISEIL
, PETROL. THIS INCREASES MORE CONSUMPTION
INSTEAD
OF PRODUCTION.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
THUS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAS TO
PAY OR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
MORE ON TO RISE MORE ELECTRIC POWER AND THAT TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM.

TO CONCLUDE
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNDOUBTABLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAN
MADE WORKS ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
REPLACED WITH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MACHINE
WORKS.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
NO ONE SHOULD US
Possible spelling mistake found.
NEGLATE
THE DISADVANTAGES.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
IT
WISELY
WHEN NEEDED.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better fof children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
438 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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