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Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v.1

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1
Chairpersons of the companies are using a massive number of methods to motivate their employees to achieve the organizational missions by providing them financial rewards. Firstly, this essay will outline the possible consequences of discriminating management and will recommend a more powerful method - the competitive environment to motivate personnel to work hard. On the one point, giving financial bonuses for only the part of the staff members also would discourage others. If, for instance, employers provide any additional payment for those workers who exhibit an incredible output, as a result, it will lessen the performance review and appraisals of others. In addition, those people will have a sense of discrimination which then can end with a propensity to superficial for the organizational mission and reluctant for career progression. Some research papers, including the paper of “Fairy Labour in the 21st century” claim that discriminating management in the workforce has a weird impact not only in the company but also in society. Accordingly, this type of practices should be removed from the organization`s agenda. From another point of view, company leaders have to create a competitive environment among the staff members in order to measure the softly-walking development. In comparison with discriminating management, it has effective outcomes because it provides a variety of rewards excluding money, such as a perk, a free lounge, and a travel ticket or monthly awards for hard workers and day release programmes. Undoubtedly, companies working in this motivational way, as soon as possible will improve target-related job satisfaction and performance reviews. For example, YARAT Contemporary Art Space annually gives a chance for hard-working employees to get professional courses or international travel which contributed them to develop the range of projects in the cultural education sector. So, it clears that money is not always as successful as our needs. To summarize, in order to improve company satisfaction, employers have various creative method chooses to encourage the workers for extraordinary contributions and sustainable productivity. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of rewarding an employee completely by non-financial awards would be supportive. After a thorough analysis, the subject supports that the general requirements have more beneficial effects than the unequal behaviour over the personnel.
Chairpersons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are using a massive number of methods to motivate their employees to achieve the organizational missions by providing them financial rewards.
Firstly
, this essay will outline the possible consequences of discriminating management and will recommend a more powerful method
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the competitive environment to motivate personnel to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

On the one point, giving financial bonuses for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the part of the staff members
also
would discourage others. If,
for instance
, employers provide any additional payment for those workers who exhibit an incredible output,
as a result
, it will lessen the performance review and appraisals of others.
In addition
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have a sense of discrimination which then can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with a propensity to superficial for the organizational mission and reluctant for career progression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
research papers, including the paper of “Fairy
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
in the 21st century” claim that discriminating management in the workforce has a weird impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in society.
Accordingly
, this type of practices should
be removed
from the
The character between 'organization' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "organization’s" (curly apostrophe) or "organization's" (straight apostrophe).
organization`s
agenda.

From another point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
leaders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
create a competitive environment among the staff members in order to measure the
softly
-walking development.
In comparison
with discriminating management, it has effective outcomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides a variety of rewards excluding money, such as a perk, a free lounge, and a travel ticket or monthly awards for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
workers and day release
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
working in this motivational way, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
target-related job satisfaction and performance reviews.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
YARAT
Contemporary Art Space
annually
gives a chance for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
professional courses or international travel which contributed them to develop the range of projects in the cultural education sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it clears that money is not always as successful as our needs.

To summarize
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
satisfaction, employers have various creative method chooses to encourage the workers for extraordinary contributions and sustainable productivity.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of rewarding an employee completely by non-financial awards would be supportive. After a thorough analysis, the subject supports that the general requirements have more beneficial effects than the unequal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
over the personnel.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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