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Some employers reward member of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v.1

Some employers reward member of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1
In times of high unemployment, employers need to do very little to encourage their workers to work hard, but when job vacancies are scarce, they have to find effective ways of rewarding their employees to stop them from going elsewhere. One obvious way of doing this is to offer extra money to employees who are seen to be working exceptionally hard and this is done in companies with a product to sell. For example, real estate agent or department stores can offer a simple commission on all the sales. This style of management favours people who can demonstrate their contribution through sales figures, but does not take into account the work done by the people behind the scenes who little contact with the public. A better approach is for management to offer a bonus to all the personnel at the end of the year if the profits are healthy. This, however, does not allow management to target individuals who have genuinely worked harder than the other. Another possibility is to identify excellent staff through incentive schemes such as ‘employee of the month’ or the ‘worker of the week’ to make people feel recognized. Such people are usually single out with the help of clients. Hotels, restaurants and tour operators may also allow staff to accept tips offered by clients who are pleased with this service. However, tipping is a highly unreliable source of money and does not favour everyone. Basically, employees want to be recognized for their contribution, Whether through receiving more money or simply some encouraging words. They also need to feel that their contribution to the whole organization is worthwhile. Good management recognizes this need and responds appropriately.
In times of high unemployment, employers need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to encourage their workers to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when job vacancies are scarce, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find effective ways of rewarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them from going elsewhere.

One obvious way of doing this is to offer extra money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be working
exceptionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and this
is done
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with a product to sell.
For example
, real estate agent or department stores can offer a simple commission on all the sales.

This style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can demonstrate their contribution through sales figures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not take into account the work done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behind the scenes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contact with the public. A better approach is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
to offer a bonus to all the personnel at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year if the profits are healthy. This,
however
, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
to target individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
genuinely
worked harder than the other.

Another possibility
is to identify excellent staff through incentive schemes such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘employee
of the month’ or the ‘worker of the week’ to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel recognized. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
single out with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of clients. Hotels, restaurants and tour operators may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
staff to accept tips offered by clients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with this service.
However
, tipping is a
highly
unreliable source of money and does not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
everyone.

Basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
want to
be recognized
for their contribution, Whether through receiving more money or
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
encouraging words. They
also
need to feel that their contribution to the whole organization is worthwhile.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
recognizes this need and responds
appropriately
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers reward member of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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