Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages. v. 149 v.39

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages. v. 149 v. 39
In the current times, there are many museums which are charging an entry fee, while there are others in which the access is free. In my opinion, exhibitions, must charge an admission fee as the funds collected can be used in the maintenance and restoration of the museums. However, free entry to museums will pose some serious hazards too. There are many advantages of charging an entry ticket to such places. Firstly, with the money collected from visitors, janitors can be employed who will ensure that the cleanliness of the space is maintained. Secondly, security guards can be deployed to control and monitor the growing number of tourists. Moreover, if it is a historical museum, the admission charge could be used in the restoration of some old artefacts, including old paintings, costumes and weapons. For instance, a science museum would require money for the maintenance of the equipments and the machines, to be able to demonstrate experiments to visitors. On the other hand, asking the tourists to not pay an admission ticket has some obvious disadvantages as well. By doing so, the exhibitions become inaccessible to many. In other words, the lower strata of society who are struggling to make ends meet would be unable to visit such places and educate their children about history or natural science with live examples. Additionally, if no access fee is charged, the visitors will start misusing the place for their intended use and it would be difficult to maintain law and order such situations. In conclusion, museums must pay an entrance charge to ensure correct law and order is maintained. Therefore, the disadvantage of the museums being unaffordable to many can be ignored.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which are charging an entry fee, while there are others in which the access is free. In my opinion, exhibitions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
charge an admission fee as the funds collected can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the maintenance and restoration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
However
, free entry to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
will pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious hazards too.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of charging an entry ticket to such places.
Firstly
, with the money collected from visitors, janitors can
be employed
who will ensure that the cleanliness of the space
is maintained
.
Secondly
, security guards can
be deployed
to control and monitor the growing number of tourists.
Moreover
, if it is a historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, the admission charge could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the restoration of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
paintings, costumes and weapons.
For instance
, a science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
would require money for the maintenance of the equipments and the machines, to be able to demonstrate experiments to visitors.

On the other hand
, asking the tourists to not pay an admission ticket has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious disadvantages
as well
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the exhibitions become inaccessible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
In other words
, the lower strata of society who are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
would be unable to visit such places and educate their children about history or natural science with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
examples.
Additionally
, if no access fee
is charged
, the visitors will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
misusing the place for their intended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and it would be difficult to maintain law and order such situations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay an entrance charge to ensure correct law and order
is maintained
.
Therefore
, the disadvantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
being unaffordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages. v. 149 v. 39

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts