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Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion. v.1

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion. v. 1
The issue of whether grandparents should live with their extended families is partly a question of the traditions in different cultures or nationalities. However, the question of affordability also plays an increasing part, and so this debate is rather complex, as we shall see. On the one hand, those who support the idea of grandparents living with their children point to the higher level of emotional support which all family members may receive in such situations, for example in times of crisis such as bereavement. Furthermore, it is also true that personal security may be increased, offering protection against such problems as accidents or even robbery. Finally, it seems that extended family life will also be considerably less costly, for instance with lower food and utility bills, meaning that enjoyment of life may be higher. By contrast, supporters of grandparents living independently often state that elderly people should be encouraged to be as self-reliant as possible, as this boosts their self-esteem and may guard against mental decline in old age. They also say, with some merit, that many younger families these days do not have the housing space, or indeed the spare time, which is necessary to care properly for older members. As a last point, it is also true that many grandparents prefer to see their grandchildren on a less frequent basis (as opposed to every day), making these visits more special and cherished for all concerned. Overall, it appears to me that the stronger argument is in favour of grandparents living independently, with all the advantages of self-reliance and separate space. This is provided that their health and finances allow them to continue living separately, without risk or the fear of isolation.
The issue of whether
grandparents
should
live
with their extended
families
is partly a question of the traditions in
different
cultures or nationalities.
However
, the question of affordability
also
plays an increasing part, and
so
this debate is
rather
complex, as we shall
see
.

On the one hand, those who support the
idea
of
grandparents
living
with their children point to the higher level of emotional support which all
family
members may receive in such situations,
for example
in times of crisis such as bereavement.
Furthermore
, it is
also
true that personal security may
be increased
, offering protection against such problems as accidents or even robbery.
Finally
, it seems that extended
family
life will
also
be
considerably
less costly,
for instance
with lower food and utility bills, meaning that enjoyment of life may be higher.

By contrast, supporters of
grandparents
living
independently
often
state that elderly
people
should
be encouraged
to be as self-reliant as possible, as this boosts their self-esteem and may guard against mental decline in
old
age. They
also
say, with
some
merit, that
many
younger
families
these days do not have the housing space, or
indeed
the spare time, which is necessary to care
properly
for older members. As a last point, it is
also
true that
many
grandparents
prefer to
see
their grandchildren on a less frequent basis (as opposed
to every day
), making these visits more special and cherished for all concerned.

Overall
, it appears to me that the stronger argument is in
favour
of
grandparents
living
independently
, with all the advantages of self-reliance and separate space. This
is provided
that their health and finances
allow
them to continue
living
separately
, without
risk
or the fear of isolation.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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