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Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of the debate, and reach your own conclusion. v.3

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of the debate, and reach your own conclusion. v. 3
Now a day we can see in many public places, a poster or sign of "no tobacco/no smoking" is put up. Some countries feel that it is important to have laws against smoking in public places like restaurant, movie theatres, etc. , On contrary to this many thinks that it is not needed. In this essay I would discuss both sides and conclude with my opinions. As we all know that tobacco and smoking are injurious to health not only for those who are using it, but also for those who are along with people using it, according to a research by Time it is found that more than 50% of the people who develop cancer of the mouth, throat, etc. , are because of passive smoking. So, one should try to avoid smoking in places where many people are present. Moreover, not just cancer some people feel suffocating because of fumes coming from cigarettes. In addition to this, when you smoke in public places, many teenagers have habit of learning from others and when they find others using these things, they think it is good for them or it is cool to use these harmful products. To support this, Recently when I was shopping in the mall, I saw that a father with his family of 2 young kids were shopping and he was eating tobacco, when his kids saw that, they thought it some delicious candy and started asking his dad to give him one and when his dad said no and went ahead he went back and bought one for him. This shows why having these things can not only injurious to us, but also to our loved ones. On contrary to this, many governments believe that all citizens have right to choose and they are well aware of bad and good effects of using tobacco rich contents also it is up to them to buy or not to, how to use where to use and where not to. For example, many government have started printing the ill effects of consuming tobacco and using cigarettes on the packet of it so that whoever consumes are well aware what they are having and how it can cause harm. To summarize, I think the disadvantage of using tobacco rich contents in public places outweighs the advantages and hence, one much think twice before using it in public places.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, a poster or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
no tobacco/no smoking
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is put
up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries feel that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have laws against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like restaurant, movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
On contrary to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
that it is not needed. In this essay I would discuss both sides and conclude with my opinions.

As we all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
are injurious to health not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for those who are using it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for those who are along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using it, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by Time it
is found
that more than 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who develop cancer of the mouth, throat, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one should try to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are present.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cancer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel suffocating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fumes coming from cigarettes.
In addition
to this, when you smoke in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have habit of learning from others and when they find others using these things, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them or it is cool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these harmful products. To support this, Recently when I was shopping in the mall, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that a father with his family of 2 young kids were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping and
he was eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
, when his kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
delicious candy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
asking his dad to give him one and when his dad said no and went ahead he went back and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
one for him. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
why having these things can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
injurious to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

On contrary to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
believe that all citizens have right to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choose and
they are well aware of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
rich contents
also
it is up to them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or not to, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and where not to.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
printing the ill effects of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and using cigarettes on the packet of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that whoever consumes are well aware what they are having and how it can cause harm.

To summarize
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the disadvantage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
rich contents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
outweighs the advantages and
hence
, one much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
using it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of the debate, and reach your own conclusion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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