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some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? is this the best solution? v.5

some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? is this the best solution? v. 5
The development of mankind has a detrimental effect on the flora and fauna of the globe. Therefore, this development leads to such procedures which are not reversible. But, some people criticize this whole scenario by saying that proper ways are required to stop this impact. I personally believe that the plants and the animals are as important as the humans, so some kind of action is required in order to save these creatures. This essay will discuss both the views by using the examples of the Oxford University research and the Times Magazine survey to demonstrate the points and support the claims. On the one hand, people think that nothing in this sphere is without purpose. And In order to cope the needs of increasing population we have to compromise on the resources of the world. Furthermore, it’s not easy for people to leave their luxury life styles for the sake of saving planet species. For example, Oxford University in 2015 researched that in the last 10 years 1000 species of plants and animals becomes extinct from this planet, in order to address the needs of this globe. So, from this example, it is clear that our non-changing routines are destroying some valuable species, which is in fact an alarming situation. On the other hand, some people favor that we have to change our routines in order to save our planet flora and fauna. And this is only possible, if our governments start taking this issue on the serious note. Additionally, it is the responsibility of the people to decrease the use of those products which are affecting our ecosystem. Similarly, a survey of the Times Magazine highlights the same issue in 2018 and 80% people voted in the favor of saving the endangered creatures. So, from this example, it is clear that we need some strict actions in order to save our flora and fauna. To conclude, collaborate actions are required from the governments and the general public in order to provide protection to the ecosystem. In the future, if the governments don’t gather on the agenda to save our world ecosystem, it will have detrimental effects on our globe.
The development of mankind has a detrimental effect on the flora and fauna of the globe.
Therefore
, this development leads to such procedures which are not reversible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
criticize this whole scenario by saying that proper ways
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this impact. I
personally
believe that the plants and the animals are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the humans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of action
is required
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
these creatures. This essay will discuss both the views by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of the Oxford University research and the Times Magazine survey to demonstrate the points and support the claims.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that nothing in this sphere is without purpose. And In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to cope the needs of increasing population we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise on the resources of the world.
Furthermore
, it’s not easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their luxury life styles for the sake of saving planet species. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, Oxford University in 2015 researched that in the last 10 years 1000 species of plants and animals becomes extinct from this planet, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to address the needs of this globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that our non-changing routines are destroying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable species, which is in fact an alarming situation.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
favor that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our routines in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our planet flora and fauna. And this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible, if our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking this issue on the serious note.
Additionally
, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of those products which are affecting our ecosystem.
Similarly
, a survey of the Times Magazine highlights the same issue in 2018 and 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
voted in the favor of saving the endangered creatures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict actions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our flora and fauna.

To conclude
, collaborate actions
are required
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and the
Consider using "public".
general public
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to provide protection to the ecosystem. In the future, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
don’t gather on the agenda to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our world ecosystem, it will have detrimental effects on our globe.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? is this the best solution? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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