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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 11

In the modern world, throwing parties can be challenging for its organizers. However, there is an opinion that it can create a new society, which is more organized and cheerful. Personally, I reckon that celebrations’ number should be limited in order to make a conscious society. It is widely known that ordinary people spend the significant amount of money on the celebrations of parties, such as weddings, birthdays and graduation. Consequently, they can face with shortage of money after the celebrations. A good illustration of this is weddings in Central Asia, where citizens take loans and credits in order to celebrate parties. Furthermore, parties can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. That is to say, not controlling your diet can lead to the deterioration of well-being. To illustrate, many party animals are suffering from diseases relating to their digestion. On the other hand, such kinds of events can be beneficial for the individuals as well as for the society. First of all, it can create a new community. It is widely accepted that if individuals spend their time at the parties, they can communicate with other people. As a result, they can develop their soft skills. For instance, the community can get a benefit from these communications, because it can lead to the prosperity. Secondly, the parties can leave good memories. The important thing is that individuals get various emotions and enjoyment. For example, many people can feel sadness, when they are graduated from the universities or schools. To conclude, although celebrations of events can bring various emotions and amusement, personally, I believe that their number should be regulated, because people can waste their money. In addition, it can create some minor problems for the health.

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.11

In the modern world, throwing
parties
can be challenging for its organizers.
However
, there is an opinion that it can create a new society, which is more organized and cheerful.
Personally
, I reckon that
celebrations’
number should
be limited
in order to
make
a conscious society. It is
widely
known that ordinary
people
spend the significant amount of money on the
celebrations
of
parties
, such as weddings, birthdays and graduation.
Consequently
, they can face with shortage of money after the
celebrations
. A
good
illustration of this is weddings in Central Asia, where citizens take loans and credits in order to celebrate
parties
.
Furthermore
,
parties
can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.
That is
to say, not controlling your diet can lead to the deterioration of well-being. To illustrate,
many
party
animals are suffering from diseases relating to their digestion.
On the other hand
, such kinds of
events
can be beneficial for the individuals
as well
as for the society.
First of all
, it can create a new community. It is
widely
accepted
that if individuals spend their time at the
parties
, they can communicate with other
people
.
As a result
, they can develop their soft
skills
.
For instance
, the community can
get
a benefit from these communications,
because
it can lead to the prosperity.
Secondly
, the
parties
can
leave
good
memories. The
important
thing is that individuals
get
various emotions and enjoyment.
For example
,
many
people
can feel sadness, when they
are graduated
from the universities or schools.
To conclude
, although
celebrations
of
events
can bring various emotions and amusement,
personally
, I believe that their number should
be regulated
,
because
people
can waste their money.
In addition
, it can create
some
minor problems for the health.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
285 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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