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Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. v. 4
The perpetual criminal activities in some countries are extremely hard to handle nowadays. Some people advocate for more physical presence of police on the streets as a solution for this uncontrollable situation. Though it might address this problem to some extent, injecting more police personal onto the public streets is simply not a viable solution, because of its cost. I believe that there are other measures like surveillance and gun control which are more efficient approaches to eradicate crime from being infested the society. Firstly, Surveillance is an economical option compared to mass incorporation of police on the streets. All it takes is installation of cameras in each and every corner of the street to get maximum ground coverage. This way, if some crime happens, police force can specifically target the location where the incident is being taken place, and address that issue within minutes. This is a very efficient way to handle the unlawful activities happen on the streets. Secondly, Gun control is another strategy to putout arms from the hands of criminals, and Citizens of society for that matter. For instance, In the US, many people got killed in recent times to gun violence, where assault style guns were used by normal citizens of society who never had a criminal record on them. Had they not had guns in their hands, which can spray hundreds of bullets in seconds, the mass execution of humans could have been avoided. Countries like Australia, Netherlands and India, which have stricter gun control laws are able to eliminate military style execution from taking place. In conclusion, we should be able to take measures that could eliminate the origins of the crime from the root level rather filling the streets with more policemen. In my perspective, beefing up the presence of police independently may not be a viable solution to eradicate the crime.
The perpetual criminal activities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to handle nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate for more physical presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
as a solution for this uncontrollable situation. Though it might address this problem to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, injecting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
personal onto the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
is
simply
not a viable solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its cost. I believe that there are other measures like surveillance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
control which are more efficient approaches to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from
being infested
the society.

Firstly
, Surveillance is an economical option compared to mass incorporation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
. All it takes is installation of cameras in each and every corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
maximum ground coverage. This way, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
happens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
force can
specifically
target the location where the incident is
being taken
place, and address that issue within minutes. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient way to handle the unlawful activities happen on the streets.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gun
control is another strategy to putout arms from the hands of criminals, and Citizens of society for that matter.
For instance
, In the US,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
killed in recent times to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
violence, where assault style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by normal citizens of society who never had a criminal record on them. Had they not had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
in their hands, which can spray hundreds of bullets in seconds, the mass execution of humans could have
been avoided
. Countries like Australia, Netherlands and India, which have stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
control laws are able to eliminate military style execution from taking place.

In conclusion
, we should be able to take measures that could eliminate the origins of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from the root level
rather
filling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
with more policemen. In my perspective, beefing up the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
independently
may not be a viable solution to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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