Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.1

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1
In the contemporary era, people do not have physical fitness, which is necessary to remain healthy for longer life. Lacking activeness and fitness will result in health problems in their future life. Consuming too many junk foods and not doing exercises are the main reasons for becoming inactive and unfit. Initiatives taken by the educational institutions and parents will mitigate this problem of the current generation. The plausible reason for becoming an unfit person is that youngsters now prefer to eat junk foods compare to the past. The consumption of these fast foods helps to gain weight, which will create many diseases in the body. For example, overweight people are more likely to face heart attack problems in Bangladesh compared to the average weight people. Another cause is that in these days, people do not like to do physical exercises or outdoor sports, which is mandatory for becoming fit. In other words, juveniles are more interested to play indoor games such as PlayStation games, computer games, chess, etc. rather than playing outside in the field. Therefore, this sedentary life is the reason to not remain fit and will cause many health problems. There are two effective ways, which will help to solve the problems of young generations’ inactiveness and physical unfitness. Firstly, schools and colleges should involve students in more sporting activities. Moreover, a sports subject should be included in a course curriculum. In many developed countries and the English medium schools in Bangladesh, for instance, have an extra subject in sports. Secondly, parents should inspire their children to eat healthy foods and avoid unhygienic foods. Furthermore, all family members should do some physical exercises so that children can learn the value of becoming fit and active. In conclusion, having junk and unhygienic items and not doing exercises are the main reasons to not fit and active, which can be solved by the proper steps taken by the schools and guardians.
In the contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness, which is necessary to remain healthy for longer life. Lacking activeness and fitness will result in health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their future life. Consuming too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and not doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for becoming inactive and unfit. Initiatives taken by the educational institutions and parents will mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.

The plausible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for becoming an unfit person is that youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
compare to the past. The consumption of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to gain weight, which will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases in the body.
For example
, overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to face heart attack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in Bangladesh compared to the average weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another cause is that in these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
or outdoor sports, which is mandatory for becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
.
In other words
, juveniles are more interested to play indoor games such as PlayStation games, computer games, chess, etc.
rather
than playing outside in the field.
Therefore
, this sedentary life is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to not remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems.

There are two effective ways, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of young generations’
Possible spelling mistake found.
inactiveness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
unfitness.
Firstly
, schools and colleges should involve students in more sporting activities.
Moreover
, a sports subject should
be included
in a course curriculum. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
and the English medium schools in Bangladesh,
for instance
, have an extra subject in sports.
Secondly
, parents should inspire their children to eat healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and avoid unhygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Furthermore
, all family members should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children can learn the value of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and active.

In conclusion
, having junk and unhygienic items and not doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and active, which can
be solved
by the proper steps taken by the schools and guardians.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts