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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people believe that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime To what extent do you agree? v.5

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people believe that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime v. 5
I think that setting more detective on the street is reduced for a minor crime, but other crimes have to need another way measures. Nowadays, the crimes are artful and several. The minor crime is, for example, pick pocket, snatch and vandalism. Their punishment is not strict to compare with murder, therefore a greater number of people that are a minor crime. Moreover, the minor crime is not easy to arrest the criminal at that moment, because it does not take a long time to have made the case, it may take a time to done few seconds to a few minutes. In this case, setting more detective on the street is good for preventing the case. The detective could stand at many points that is likely to occur a case and could patrol around in a city. The people take warning if the detective would be set there. On the other hand, other case, for example, murder, bank robbery and internet fraud do not affect that setting detective in the street. Because, a murder and a bank robbery would be planned, they are not an impulsive action. Their case is difficult to prevent by detective before they have done it. Also, the internet fraud is difficult to prevent too, they would do crime online and it does not matter whether detective stands in the street. In addition, if the detective increase for setting on the road, another case would be increased. They would not afford to work for another case. In conclusion, setting detective more on the road effects for reducing a minor crime, but another case might be increased. I think it is not the only way that sort out all of case.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
need another way measures. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are artful and several.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is,
for example
, pick pocket, snatch and vandalism. Their punishment is not strict to compare with murder,
therefore
a greater number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not easy to arrest the criminal at that moment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not take a long time to have made the case, it may take a time to done few seconds to a few minutes.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for preventing the case. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
could stand at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points
that is
likely to occur a case and could patrol around in a city. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take warning if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
would
be set
there.

On the other hand
, other case,
for example
, murder, bank robbery and internet fraud do not affect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, a murder and a bank robbery would
be planned
, they are not an impulsive action. Their case is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they have done it.
Also
, the internet fraud is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
too, they would do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
online and it does not matter whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
stands in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
.
In addition
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
increase for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
on the road, another case would
be increased
. They would not afford to work for another case.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detective
more on the road effects for reducing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another case might
be increased
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way that sort out
Consider using "all case" or "all of the case".
all of case
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people believe that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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