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Some oeple think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult ought to be optional instead of compulsary. To what extend to you agree? v.1

Some oeple think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult ought to be optional instead of compulsary. v. 1
Nowadays, folks elaborate that challenging subjects such as maths and philosophy should be a must at school, in contrast, some argue that, they should not make it a priority for all. In my opinion, following the complete range of subjects at a primary level is necessary. Despite, the difficulty of thesis subjects for some. In short, satisfaction evolves learnings while maths and philosophy stimulate the think tank. Firstly, mathematics and philosophies is vital in creating the fundamental intelligence of teenagers, while teachers make it an opportunity to identify students specific skills and shape them for the future. For example, Maths is essential for any curriculum at its academic level. As a result, students learn to think in deep in their own view, then would perform very well at their jobs. In short, theories being compulsory at a stage are good for shaping up good citizens. On the other hand, after ordinary level, students should be given an opportunity to select on a specific subject in which they are good at, avoiding difficult syllabuses. As well as, their likeness will make them perform. To Illustrate, arts, music and drama, based on creativity and freedom. As the subjects get complicated more time and effort has to be put into it while separating disciples on their competency is, indeed. As a result, students have to concentrate on one what skill they persist. In short, later part of schooling should be vital on the student's ability in shaping up teens for their future assignments. In conclusion, early schooling career should be exposed to mathematical and ideology fundamentals while the later part as an option. In my view, parents and teachers should work together To identify their children's ability. In a word, thesis and solving's being optional will benefit, "double side of the sword".
Nowadays, folks elaborate that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and philosophy should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
at school,
in contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that, they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a priority for all. In my opinion, following the complete range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at a primary level is necessary. Despite, the difficulty of thesis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. In short, satisfaction evolves learnings while
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and philosophy stimulate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
tank.

Firstly
, mathematics and philosophies is vital in creating the fundamental intelligence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, while teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it an opportunity to identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and shape them for the future.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
is essential for any curriculum at its academic level.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in deep in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, then would perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well at their jobs. In short, theories being compulsory at a stage are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for shaping up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens.

On the other hand
, after ordinary level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to select on a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in which they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at, avoiding difficult syllabuses.
As well
as, their likeness will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them perform. To Illustrate, arts, music and drama, based on creativity and freedom. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
complicated more time and effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be put
into it while separating disciples on their competency is,
indeed
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concentrate on one what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
they persist. In short, later part of schooling should be vital on the student's ability in shaping up teens for their future assignments.

In conclusion
, early schooling career should
be exposed
to mathematical and ideology fundamentals while the later part as an option.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my view, parents and teachers should work together To identify their children's ability.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
a word, thesis and solving's being optional will benefit,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
double side of the sword
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some oeple think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult ought to be optional instead of compulsary. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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