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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.43

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 43
There is an opinion which says that students have the authority to choose their subject openly and study whatever they are interested in. While some people believe that students have to study some subjects which are useful in the eventual such as technology and science. I completely disagree with the second idea. I believe that students are allowed to choose any subject to study because they have the freedom to make their subsequent by their choices and take up any major they want. Any individuals have some special potentials and interests that lead them to the success. Restrictions could make students upset and inefficient. For instance a person has a perfect imaginary and art talent if people compel them to choose science they may experience depression. To sum up, this idea originates from parents with old-fashioned opinions in most cases. Furthermore, It is not verified that majors which are related to the sciences and automation are useful in the future. It is an overall definition that cannot be generalized to all the students. To conclude Pupils who are interested in their majors and jobs are more successful than those who detest their major although it is a discipline or machinery. To summarize, there are different opinions about the prospective majors and student's choices. People think that students have to choose science to have a better forthcoming, but this is an old idea and we have to let students choose their major and job themselves. Thus the recommendation is changing the mind.
There is an opinion which says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the authority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their subject
openly
and study whatever they
are interested
in. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects which are useful in the eventual such as technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. I completely disagree with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
any subject to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their subsequent by their choices and take up any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
they want. Any individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special potentials and interests that lead them to the success. Restrictions could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
upset and inefficient.
For instance
a person has a perfect imaginary and art talent if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
compel them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
they may experience depression. To sum up, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
originates from parents with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned opinions
in most cases
.

Furthermore
, It is not verified that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
which
are related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and automation are useful in the future. It is an
overall
definition that cannot
be generalized
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
To conclude
Pupils who
are interested
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
and jobs are more successful than those who detest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
although it is a discipline or machinery.

To summarize
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
and student's choices.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to have a better forthcoming,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
and job themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the recommendation is changing the mind.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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