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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.6

It is irrefutably true that, these days, companies are examining various strategies such as sponsoring sports events to increase their sales. While sports sponsorship is considered an efficient marketing tool for companies to promote products and increase their sales, others think in a different way, and attribute a number of problems with such an attitude. To bolster the former opinion, I believe that this practice is not only beneficial to the companies but also brings considerable advantageous to sports committees and players. Analyzing the ability of funding sports events to both boosting sales’s rates of the companies and providing financial support for players with demonstrate this. To commence with, sports sponsorship is widely acknowledged as a lucrative industry across the globe, providing mutual benefits for both the market players: the company and the their objective society. While the company gets a golden opportunity to access a wider community of potential customers, in a more comprehensive way, to promote their products and, thus, increase their sales, it allows sports committees and organisations develop infrastructure in other places and help the players financially. For example, Hyundai, who was the sponsor of the last World Cup football matches, invested billions of dollars in sponsoring the event, reported a record high in its sales’s turnover rate after the seasons. Meanwhile, the International Volleyball Committee launched a new project to develop Volleyball in low-income countries. On the contrary, it is believed by some individuals that advertising commercial goods through sports events is actually a deceptive way of promoting a company’s products. With increased commercialization of the athletics and other sports activities, there is a higher chance of sportsmanship corruption. Moreover, sports sponsorship is widely considered to the leading cause of impulsive buying, as it encourages ordinary people to purchase commodities which they rarely use them in their daily lives. In conclusion, while there might be some drawbacks associated with funding sports events may introduce some, I strongly believe that this strategy is more beneficial for both the two sides of the market. Of course, controversial issues and conflicts of interests can be avoided if the companies sell quality products and sports teams play honestly, without involving in any corruption such as match-fixing and bribery.
It is
irrefutably
true that, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are examining various strategies such as sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to increase their sales. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship
is considered
an efficient marketing tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and increase their sales, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, and attribute a number of problems with such an attitude. To bolster the former opinion, I believe that this practice is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brings considerable advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. Analyzing the ability of funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to both boosting
Did you mean “sale’s” or “sales’”?
sales’s
rates of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and providing financial support for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
with demonstrate this.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship is
widely
acknowledged as a lucrative industry across the globe, providing mutual benefits for both the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
: the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
A determiner cannot be combined with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply “the” or “their”?
the their
objective society. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a golden opportunity to access a wider community of potential customers, in a more comprehensive way, to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and,
thus
, increase their sales, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
develop infrastructure in other places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
financially
.
For example
, Hyundai, who was the sponsor of the last World Cup football matches, invested billions of dollars in sponsoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, reported a record high in its
Did you mean “sale’s” or “sales’”?
sales’s
turnover rate after the seasons. Meanwhile, the International Volleyball Committee launched a new project to develop Volleyball in low-income countries.

On the contrary
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that advertising commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is actually a deceptive way of promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. With increased commercialization of the athletics and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities, there is a higher chance of sportsmanship corruption.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship is
widely
considered to the leading cause of impulsive buying, as it encourages ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
commodities which they rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, while there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks associated with funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
may introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, I
strongly
believe that this strategy is more beneficial for both the two sides of the market.
Of course
, controversial issues and conflicts of interests can
be avoided
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
sell quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teams play
honestly
, without involving in any corruption such as match-fixing and bribery.
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IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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