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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, whiles others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, whiles others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 1
Various organizations promote their products by funding sports. A significant number of people believe it a beneficial; however, others do not agree and consider it has negative sides. Before reaching to a conclusion, this essay will discuss both the aspects in following paragraphs. To begin with, financial aid to sports is the good way to encourage people to take part in games especially in developing nations, where scarcity of sports budgets are high. For instance, many nations cannot take part in world level games because of lack of funds from the sports management in these nations. Hence, these countries lack the spirit of development in sports and effects athletes badly. Therefore, financial support from companies can give these players platform to fight in games and help in the growth of sports in that particular nation. However, sponsors can also take advantage of this deal by including out of standard products in the market. Sports player style and trends are mimicked by billion fan followers without verifying it. For example, Lionel Messi is the most popular footballer around the world currently; therefore, tagging bad quality football brands with him can convenience people to buy these footballs without having a second thought. As a result, football manufacturing companies can increase their sale in large markets of soccer lovers such as Brazil without improving quality of products. To conclude, while sponsoring sports by manufacturing units can boost the momentum of the nation as well as the athletes in wealth deprived countries, I believe it has a drawback and people should be careful before purchasing any item from the market.
Various organizations promote their products by funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. A significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe it a beneficial;
however
, others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and consider it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
reaching to a conclusion, this essay will discuss both the aspects in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, financial aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in games
especially
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, where scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
budgets are high.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in world level games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of funds from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
management in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Hence
, these countries lack the spirit of development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and effects athletes
badly
.
Therefore
, financial support from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can give these players platform to fight in games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in that particular nation.

However
, sponsors can
also
take advantage of this deal by including out of standard products in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
player style and trends
are mimicked
by billion fan followers without verifying it.
For example
, Lionel Messi is the most popular footballer around the world
currently
;
therefore
, tagging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality football brands with him can convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these footballs without having a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
As a result
, football manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can increase their sale in large markets of soccer lovers such as Brazil without improving quality of products.

To conclude
, while sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
by manufacturing units can boost the momentum of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
as the athletes in wealth deprived countries, I believe it has a drawback and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing any item from the market.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, whiles others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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