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Some children find mathematics and philosophy difficult. Some people think these subjects should be optional. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some children find mathematics and philosophy difficult. Some people think these subjects should be optional. v. 2
The school curriculum includes several subjects for the overall development of a child. However, few students find mathematics and philosophy difficult; so, they wish to exclude them from their subject-list. In my opinion, all subjects including mathematics and philosophy should be taught at school level. To begin with, at primary level the child is taught many subjects because he can get basic knowledge of all the fields. Unequivocally, if the child exclude subjects thinking it difficult then he would not learn anything. Although mathematics may seem useless for a successful painter in his childhood days, but still he would be benefited by knowing basics, without which he cannot count money or understand profit-loss in his business. Similarly, the knowledge of philosophy builds the cognitive and intuitive skills of a child; making the child learn truth about existence and environment, making him distinct in crowd to learn questioning ideas and discover fact. Admittedly, fundamental knowledge of math and philosophy is needed at school level. On the other hand, the critics argue that teacher' s should foster learning as per the interest of toddler. If a child shows interest in sports, he should be taught only physical education. According to them, forcing math or philosophical subjects on such students is an inappropriate act. As the child is forced to do something he dislikes, it can hamper his overall development. Not all people need to know the algebra and trigonometry as it has less value in their life. Similarly, even ignorant about the philosophical facts of life, an individual can stay complacent and happy. Consequently, every child is different and no subject should be imposed on them. In conclusion, I pen down saying that every person should have at least basic understanding of all the subjects, including mathematics and philosophy; so, these subjects should be mandatory at school level. Every parent as well as teacher should foster this learning in pupils for the betterment of the civilization.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum includes several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for the
overall
development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
However
, few students find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
difficult;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they wish to exclude them from their subject-list. In my opinion, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
should
be taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, at primary level the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
basic knowledge of all the fields.
Unequivocally
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
exclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
thinking it difficult then he would not learn anything. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
may seem useless for a successful painter in his childhood days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
he would
be benefited
by knowing basics, without which he cannot count money or understand profit-loss in his business.
Similarly
, the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
builds the cognitive and intuitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
; making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learn truth about existence and environment, making him distinct in crowd to learn questioning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and discover fact.
Admittedly
, fundamental knowledge of math and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
is needed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.

On the other hand
, the critics argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s should foster learning as per the interest of toddler. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
interest in sports, he should
be taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical education. According to them, forcing math or philosophical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
on such students is an inappropriate act. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is forced
to do something he dislikes, it can hamper his
overall
development. Not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to know the algebra and trigonometry as it has less value in their life.
Similarly
, even ignorant about the philosophical facts of life, an individual can stay complacent and happy.
Consequently
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
should
be imposed
on them.

In conclusion
, I pen down saying that every person should have at least basic understanding of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
philosophy
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be mandatory at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level. Every parent
as well
as teacher should foster this learning in pupils for the betterment of the civilization.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some children find mathematics and philosophy difficult. Some people think these subjects should be optional. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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