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Some celebrities say that their private lives shouldn’t come under media scrutiny. Other people, however, believe that they should accept it as part of their fame. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some celebrities say that their private lives shouldn’t come under media scrutiny. Other people, however, believe that they should accept it as part of their fame. v. 1
These days, there are growing number of television shows which are very attractive and influence to children. Channels like cartoon network and pogo have a collection of cartoon series for kids, In every household watching these channels have become daily routine. Nonetheless, some British families have decided not buy television thinking about kid's development and creativity. I completely agree with this point of view and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples. Firstly, there are many side effects of watching television such as decrease in eye sight, headaches and laziness. It means while watching television complete body get relaxed except eyes and brain, due to constant pressure on the eyes and brain it results in stress. Many kids are not interested in outdoor activities because of the television resulting in low or no physical education. Parents should control their child's activities by letting them play outdoors with other kids. Secondly, why it is a good idea not to buy television is that pupils will concentrate more on their studies. What I mean by this is pupils are lagging in their studies as they are no more interested in reading books due to their enjoyment towards watching TV. For example, cartoon channels provide interest and suspense, leaving kids in a situation not to study or study later. As a result of these TV sets children also stop interacting with parents and friends as they feel tired or sleepy after watching TV. They also get influenced in such a way that they think themselves in the characters. On the other hand, many people argue that watching television has increased their child's creativity and imagination power. They claim that watching quiz contests and some logical cartoons help their children learn things quickly. Children can also get inspired watching spelling and education related contests. They will gain enthusiasm and interest to participate in such events. In conclusion, although some feel that watching television increases interest and imagination power, it is very easy for children to get addicted. Parents should encourage their kids in outdoor events which reduces stress on their brain and eyes. I think, children should be taught with sports and reading as they increase both physical and imaginative power instead allowing them to watch television for hours.
These days, there are growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive and influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Channels like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
network and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pogo
have a collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
series for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, In every household watching these channels have become daily routine. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
British families have decided not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
thinking about kid's development and creativity. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
side effects of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
such as decrease in
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
, headaches and laziness. It means while watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
complete body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
and brain, due to constant pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
and brain it results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are not interested in outdoor activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
resulting in low or no physical education. Parents should control their child's activities by letting them play outdoors with other kids.

Secondly
, why it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is that pupils will concentrate more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. What I mean by this is pupils are lagging in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as they are no more interested in reading books due to their enjoyment towards watching TV.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
channels provide interest and suspense, leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in a situation not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
later.
As a result
of
Did you mean "this TV" or ""?
these TV
sets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
interacting with parents and friends as they feel tired or sleepy after watching TV. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced in such a way that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
themselves in the characters.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has increased their child's creativity and imagination power. They claim that watching quiz contests and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn things
quickly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired watching spelling and education related contests. They will gain enthusiasm and interest to participate in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
increases interest and imagination power, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted. Parents should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in outdoor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on their brain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
with sports and reading as they increase both physical and imaginative power
instead
allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for hours.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some celebrities say that their private lives shouldn’t come under media scrutiny. Other people, however, believe that they should accept it as part of their fame. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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