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Some businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem. How can it be resolved? v.2

Some businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem. How can it be resolved? v. 2
It is true that the beginner laborers may devoid of some interpersonal abilities and some companies may encounter with this kind of drawbacks. Although there will unquestionably be some prime causes of this trend, measures could certainly taken to mitigate these potential problems. As the problems could experience within the company due to the lack of some work-related skills in new employees, several related causes and effects can be anticipated. First and foremost, it could be argued that university lectures mainly focused on more theoretical classes than practical could possibly lead students to have less knowledge regarding the work environment. It would appear that most of the lectures provided by collages are theoretical oriented and most of them are obligatory in this case the students most likely to have less information and knowledge on how to act in the group as a member of the team. Another important reason could be thought that the excess amount of classes would probably unable students to work in some company during their university years. As a result of this fact, students only possess theoretical knowledge rather than practical and they do know how to put into practice/implement/perform their knowledge when they commence their career. There are several actions that not only university administrators but also students themselves could take to resolve the problems depicted above. Initially granted, it could be asserted that university classes and subjects should definitely concentrate more on practical classes and decrease the amount of theoretical and unrelated subjects to their profession so as to improve students’ practical skills. Another measure could be considered that students could compel? themselves to work a part-time job during university years and carry work and study simultaneously. This will allow them to experience a work environment prior to starting their main career. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as a lack of experience and interpersonal skills of students.
It is true that the beginner laborers may devoid of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interpersonal abilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may encounter with this kind of drawbacks. Although there will
unquestionably
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prime causes of this trend, measures could
certainly
taken to mitigate these potential problems.

As the problems could experience within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
due to the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in new employees, several related causes and effects can
be anticipated
.
First
and foremost, it could
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
lectures
mainly
focused on more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
could
possibly
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment. It would appear that most of the lectures provided by collages are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theoretical
oriented and most of them are obligatory
in this case
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
most likely to have less information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on how to act in the group as a member of the team. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the excess amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would
probably
unable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
years.
As a result
of this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
rather
than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practical and
they do know how to put into practice/implement/perform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
when they commence their career.

There are several actions that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
administrators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves could take to resolve the problems depicted above.
Initially
granted, it could
be asserted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and subjects should definitely concentrate more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and decrease the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theoretical
and unrelated subjects to their profession
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another measure could
be considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could compel?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
themselves
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a part-time job during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
years and carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study
simultaneously
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to experience a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment prior to starting their main career.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as a lack of experience and interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem. How can it be resolved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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