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Some parents believe that reading entertainment books is waste of time. In their opinion, children should read only serious, educational books. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experience. v.2

Some parents believe that reading entertainment books is waste of time. In their opinion, children should read only serious, educational books. Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experience. v. 2
Education is a powerful weapon which we can use to run this world on a progressive track. Similarly, an individual can acquire education from distinct ways such as by reading books, newspaper and much more. One of the most controversial issue today leads to that, children should not be allowed to read entertainment books; according to some parents. I completely agree with the given topic, and give reasons for my answer through some assertions and examples in the further piece of essay. The first step to understand that, why parents think that reading entertainment books is waste of time? The first prominent reason is, some parents believe that if children will read those books than there will be huge impact on there academic studies. They say that, children can get distracted from there studies and they will gain fewer marks in academics result. However, children love to read stuff which is either any action or drama story in the books, they get fascinated towards them and start behaving similar. Hence, that is why some parents feel that, concentration of children can be vanished from serious studies which is highly beneficial for them to adapt. The second foremost reason is, nowadays, if parents allow their child to read such books then they get addicted towards them. Children find these books interesting and when parents ask them to leave than they get aggressive which makes parents think to not let them read those books again. Likewise, no parent want their child to be stubborn, but when children get attracted to such stuff once it is hard to make them understand that this is not beneficial. A good illustration is, it is recently shown in schools survey that 70% of children are getting low marks and becoming aggressive by watching such cartoons and by reading stuff full of actions and drama. All in all, As we all know that children are Innocent and adapt new things rapidly. So, it is duty of parents to take care of their children that they are acquiring appropriate knowledge which can be helpful for them in the future.
Education is a powerful weapon which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to run this world on a progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
Similarly
, an individual can acquire education from distinct ways such as by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, newspaper and much more. One of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
leads to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
; according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic, and give reasons for my answer through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assertions and examples in the
further
piece of essay.

The
first
step to understand that, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that reading entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is waste of time? The
first
prominent reason is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than there will be huge impact on
Did you mean "their"?
there
academic studies. They say that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from there
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they will gain fewer marks in academics result.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
stuff which is either any action or drama story in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fascinated towards them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
behaving similar.
Hence
,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel that, concentration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be vanished
from serious studies which is
highly
beneficial for them to adapt.

The second foremost reason is, nowadays, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted towards them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
find these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
interesting and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ask them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aggressive which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
again.
Likewise
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
want their child to be stubborn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to such stuff once it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that this is not beneficial. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration is, it is recently shown in schools survey that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting low marks and becoming aggressive by watching such cartoons and by reading stuff full of actions and drama.

All in all, As we all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are Innocent and adapt new things
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they are acquiring appropriate knowledge which can be helpful for them in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents believe that reading entertainment books is waste of time. In their opinion, children should read only serious, educational books. Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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