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Some believe that TV, newspaper and radio have more influence onindividuals than their relatives and friends, while others believe not. Whichstatement do you prefer? Please give your opinion with specific examplesand details. v.1

Some believe that TV, newspaper and radio have more influence onindividuals than their relatives and friends, while others believe not. Whichstatement do you prefer? Please give your opinion with specific examplesand details. v. 1
More and more new machines are introduced in the market in order to ease the lives of people. In the upcoming time, it is predicted that people will have more free time as many of the domestic tasks will be performed by machines. This essay will discuss the benefits of such development followed by some drawbacks. There are many advantages of machine work. Firstly, machines are able to perform tasks flawlessly than humans and in the future, they will just do that. So they will be considered as a substitute for humans because they will perform tasks which require excellence and perfection. For instance, it is quite obvious that in the past it was a very cumbersome process to keep proper record of personal and domestic work, where the introduction of mobiles saved a lot of time and space for people. In addition, machines do work at a faster speed with accuracy. As all tasks are automatically performed which reduce the amount of errors that may be caused like in humanitarian work. For example, computers can analyse a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why computers will be used in the future in the war, research, construction and human will have more time for leisure activities. However, there are some detrimental impacts and this will be more severe in the future. First is, the more dependent we become on machines the more we will lose our skills and expertise. This will create an environment where people will only educate people to how use the machine rather teach to invent new products. Thus, the enthusiasm for invention will be lost. For example, it is very common that people nowadays avoid to cook food for themselves and preferred to eat foods that are processed by machines. Moreover, the more we become dependent on machines the more we will become the victim of diseases. People will be spending most of their time on non-beneficial works which will make them to avoid hard work resulting in the victim of many diseases. Like, as most people perform their work through computers and sit in front of computers for long hours resulting in obesity and anxiety. However, such problems can be reduced through proper management. In conclusion, though machines will take many of the human tasks in the future which will provide people with more free time. However, this will create some health problems which can be reduced through appropriate measures.
More and more new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are introduced
in the market in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
will
be performed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. This essay will discuss the benefits of such development followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are able to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
Use "(flawlessly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
flawlessly
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they will
be considered
as a substitute for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
which require excellence and perfection.
For instance
, it is quite obvious that in the past it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cumbersome process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
proper record of personal and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, where the introduction of mobiles saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a faster speed with accuracy.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are
automatically
performed which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of errors that may
be caused
like in humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, computers can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why computers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in the war, research, construction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure activities.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental impacts and this will be more severe in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
First
is, the more dependent we become on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
the more we will lose our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and expertise. This will create an environment where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
rather
teach
Did you mean "inventing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to invent
new products.
Thus
, the enthusiasm for invention will
be lost
.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid cooking".
avoid to cook
food for themselves and preferred to eat foods that
are processed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
Moreover
, the more we become dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
the more we will become the victim of diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will be spending most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on non-beneficial works which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
resulting in the victim of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases. Like, as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
through computers and sit in front of computers for long hours resulting in obesity and anxiety.
However
, such problems can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
through proper management.

In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
which will provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, this will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
through appropriate measures.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that TV, newspaper and radio have more influence onindividuals than their relatives and friends, while others believe not. Whichstatement do you prefer? Please give your opinion with specific examplesand details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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