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Some believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. v. 1
Some people believe that teenagers should be asked to do community work in their leisure time because of their benefits and the community's benifits. In my point of view, i partly agree with the opinion that the youth should take part in some community work. In the one hand, joining unpaid community work provides to teenagers many usefull experiences. They need to do some physical jobs that they do not do before such as cleaning the dirty roads, helping poor people in public area, . . . In addition, they not only realize the purpose of their lives and how lucky they are, but the youth also develop some necessary soft skills such as teamwork, communication. For example, if young people join a campain that provide foods for homeless people at midnight, they could have chances to see that how lucky they are when they have their own house or still have their families, which makes them appreciate everything that they have already had. In the other side, doing unpaid social work depends on their choices; therefore, requirement the teenagers for doing it is not necessary. Besides doing social work, they have a range of works that they want to do in their leisure time. For instance, in their free time, they tend to do some hobbies or follow their passion such as drawing, painting or singing that could help them develop their own skills and unwind stress instead of doing the community work. To sum up, doing unpaid social work will benifits for teenagers and the community in various ways. Hovewer, parents should ecounrage them to take part in and let them choose what they want to do rather than requiring them to do it.
Some
people
believe that
teenagers
should
be asked
to do
community
work
in their leisure time
because
of their benefits and the community's
benifits
. In my point of view,
i
partly
agree
with the opinion that the youth should
take part
in
some
community
work.

In the one hand, joining unpaid
community
work
provides to
teenagers
many
usefull
experiences. They need to do
some
physical jobs that they do not do
before
such as cleaning the dirty roads, helping poor
people
in public area
, .
.
.
In addition
, they not
only
realize the purpose of their
lives
and how lucky they are,
but
the youth
also
develop
some
necessary soft
skills
such as teamwork, communication.
For example
, if young
people
join
a
campain
that provide foods for homeless
people
at midnight, they could have chances to
see
that how lucky they are when they have their
own
house
or
still
have their families, which
makes
them appreciate everything that they have already had.

In the other side,
doing
unpaid social
work
depends on their choices;
therefore
, requirement the
teenagers
for
doing
it is not necessary.
Besides
doing
social
work
, they have a range of works that they want to do in their leisure time.
For instance
, in their free time, they tend to do
some
hobbies or follow their passion such as drawing, painting or singing that could
help
them develop their
own
skills
and unwind
stress
instead
of
doing
the
community
work.

To sum up,
doing
unpaid social
work
will
benifits
for
teenagers
and the
community
in various ways.
Hovewer
, parents should
ecounrage
them to
take part
in and
let
them choose what they want to do
rather
than requiring them to do it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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