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These days, more and more people are going to other countries for couple of years, either to find job or to study. These are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. v.1

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for couple of years, either to find job or to study. These are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. v. 1
Traditionally, Nowadays this is the dream of everyone to go abroad for a better future; either they search for a job or to get admission in universities for higher education, but on the other side of the wall there are also some hurdles for immigrants in overseas To begin with, most of the people want to go to other countries for different reason. Firstly, in some cases, many individuals want to migrate to western countries for a bright future; there are more job opportunities available compare to native countries. Apart of this, in foreign countries every kind of facilities available. Secondly, it is understandable, that people want to get higher education from foreign countries to enhance their knowledge and to polish their skills and abilities. They can learn the foreign languages and also they can get the foreign experience. When they come back from abroad so they can work in the home country on good position because of the foreign. Turning to the other side of arguments, there are also some disadvantages while staying in abroad. To be more precise, In non native countries everything is different for their home country especially, culture, dress, customs, norms and language are different. So due to these reasons, sometimes people face many problems. In conclusion, working abroad can bring the prosperity for the home country. when the student graduate from foreign university, he or she can contribute to the economy and also serve for the betterment of the societies, Along with this, spending time in abroad can suffer from many problems.
Traditionally
, Nowadays this is the dream of everyone to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for a better future; either they search for a job or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in universities for higher education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other side of the wall there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hurdles for immigrants in overseas

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to go to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reason.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals want to migrate to western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for a bright future; there are more job opportunities available compare to native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart of
this, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
every kind of facilities available.
Secondly
, it is understandable, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher education from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to enhance their knowledge and to polish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities. They can learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
languages and
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
experience. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can work in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the foreign.

Turning to the other side of arguments, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages while staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. To be more precise, In
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
everything is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
especially
, culture, dress, customs, norms and language are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
due to these reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.

In conclusion
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can bring the prosperity for the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
the student graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
university, he or she can contribute to the economy and
also
serve for the betterment of the societies, Along with this, spending time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, more and more people are going to other countries for couple of years, either to find job or to study. These are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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