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some believe that sharing too much information ts too good regarding scientific research, business, and academics. others believe that only valuable and impotant information should be shared freely. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some believe that sharing too much information ts too good regarding scientific research, business, and academics. others believe that only valuable and impotant information should be shared freely. v. 1
In recent years the amount of traffic accidents has risen on the roads. Therefore, it has been suggested that the best method for reducing accidents is to lower the age limit for elderly citizens and to raise the age limit of younger ones. In this essay, I opine that this way doesn’t support to reduce the accidents. First of all, there are many methods to decrease the amount of traffic accidents occurring on the roads. Most of all, driving vehicles after drinking alcohol result in chaos and accidents. To get rid of this situation, imposing fines for drivers who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption level. Moreover, high speed driving, which pass the acceptable speed limit and breaking the road rules and regulations are the factors to happen heavy road accidents. To overcome this, punishment such as charging fines or banning driving license should be given by government authorities. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the police station reports that the major reasons for traffic accidents are driving vehicles by drunk drivers and exceeding the limit and also reveals imposing high fine support to lesson traffic accidents. However, lifting the age limit of the younger and reducing the age of elderly drivers may be affected somewhat for reducing accidents. The prominent reason for believing it is that poor vision and health problem of the elders. In addition, young drivers are immature to drive perfectly and carefully. For example, one of traffic policemen in media press conference, telecasted by the Rupavahini channel, pointed out that twenty five percent of total accidents have happened by the youth and the elders. Therefore, it goes without saying that this view is realistic and reliable. To recapitulate, I disagree with this argument, because changing the age limit for the young and elderly citizens are not the solution for declining traffic accidents.
In recent years the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
has risen on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Therefore
, it has
been suggested
that the best method for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is to lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
for elderly citizens and to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
of younger ones. In this essay, I opine that this way doesn’t support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the accidents.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods to decrease the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
occurring on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Most of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
vehicles after drinking alcohol result in chaos and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this situation, imposing fines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption level.
Moreover
, high speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, which pass the acceptable speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
and breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations are the factors to happen heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. To overcome this, punishment such as charging fines or banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the police station reports that the major reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
vehicles by drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and exceeding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
and
also
reveals imposing high fine support to lesson
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

However
, lifting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
of the younger and reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
somewhat for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. The prominent reason for believing it is that poor vision and health problem of the elders.
In addition
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are immature to drive
perfectly
and
carefully
.
For example
, one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
policemen in media press conference,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rupavahini
channel, pointed out that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty five
percent of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have happened by the youth and the elders.
Therefore
, it goes without saying that this view is realistic and reliable.

To recapitulate, I disagree with this argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
for the young and elderly citizens are not the solution for declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay some believe that sharing too much information ts too good regarding scientific research, business, and academics. others believe that only valuable and impotant information should be shared freely. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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