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Some believe that people should get a job right after school. Others say they should attend university. Discuss both views and state your opinion. v.1

Some believe that people should get a job right after school. Others say they should attend university. v. 1
Nowadays, our environment is heavily encapsulated with different forms of advertisements, and this is having an enormous impact on our lives. It is important to consider if the benefits of these effects outweigh its disadvantages. In my opinion, there are more drawbacks from the outcomes of advertisements. To some scholars, advertisement has positive influences on society. They assert that advertising, which is a key part of modern business, helps create jobs, and it also has increased the standard of living as it improves the economy. For example, it is estimated that advertisement contributes about 2% to the Nigerian GDP and employs about 100 thousand people. In their view, without advertising, there would be a higher unemployment rate. However, I believe that in spite of these positive views, there are more negative effects of advertisements. One of such is that advertisers focus usually on selling brands with considerations of the impact such brand have on people. Take for instance the consequences tobacco has on people’s health. Despite it being the most important risk factor for cancer, which is the most prevalent health burden in advance countries, advertising companies still go ahead to promote it because it is marketable. Furthermore, the persuasive nature of the industry makes it easier to influence minors who might not have the ability to make informed choices. As a result, if this impact is not curbed, our children might be at the mercy of what advertising agencies put out. To recapitulate, although experts believe that advertisement industry helps the economy, there seems to be loss of moral in it, and there are increasingly influencing teens in a more negative way that positive
Nowadays, our environment is
heavily
encapsulated with
different
forms of
advertisements
, and this is having an enormous impact on our
lives
. It is
important
to consider if the benefits of these effects outweigh its disadvantages. In my opinion, there are more drawbacks from the outcomes of advertisements.

To
some
scholars,
advertisement
has
positive
influences on society. They assert that advertising, which is a key part of modern business,
helps
create jobs, and it
also
has increased the standard of living as it
improves
the economy.
For example
, it
is estimated
that
advertisement
contributes about 2% to the Nigerian GDP and employs about 100 thousand
people
. In their view, without advertising, there would be a higher unemployment rate.

However
, I believe that
in spite of
these
positive
views, there are more
negative
effects of
advertisements
. One of such is that advertisers focus
usually
on selling brands with considerations of the impact such brand have on
people
. Take
for instance
the
consequences
tobacco has on
people
’s health. Despite it being the most
important
risk
factor for cancer, which is the most prevalent health burden in advance countries, advertising
companies
still
go ahead to promote it
because
it is marketable.
Furthermore
, the persuasive nature of the industry
makes
it easier to influence minors who might not have the ability to
make
informed choices.
As a result
, if this impact is not curbed, our children might be at the mercy of what advertising agencies put out.

To recapitulate, although experts believe that
advertisement
industry
helps
the economy, there seems to be loss of moral in it, and there are
increasingly
influencing teens in a more
negative
way that
positive
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that people should get a job right after school. Others say they should attend university. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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