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Some believe that it is better for children to be taught only the native language that they moved to; others believe that kids should be taught in bilingual method to help children adjust. v.1

Some believe that it is better for children to be taught only the native language that they moved to; others believe that kids should be taught in bilingual method to help children adjust. v. 1
Education is an integral part of our society. Thus, some individuals spend their ample time towards learning in institutions. While some other take part-time jobs midst in their curriculum. Hence, I will explain my viewpoints through examples. Firstly, take part-time jobs while studying it’s very beneficial. It will boost your self- confidence and punctuality. For instance, when you do both study and work together, you’re constantly building your inner strength and you’re ready for lead any circumstances. For example, when disburse the money for rent, ration and electricity bill will come from your punctuality. In addition to, institution's fees increasing day by day and it’s the primary factor for studies. Many parents don’t have enough money to pay. Thus, take part-time work while studying is the most solid way of paying debts and varsity fees and it will not distract you from learning. On the contrary, to do part-time jobs has some drawbacks too. Firstly, do work in between your studies will affect your grades and it will make a difficult situation for yourself. Secondly, you will not spend adequate time for ménage. It will affect your curriculum. It will make a difference in proximity to household members. Thus, perceive the balance between studies and work with proper planning. Precedence to the studies then does the service. To sum up, do a work while studying is a wise decision. It’s a good thought to do both together. However, use your time wisely. So, Then both can be noticed and aid in your bright future.
Education is an integral part of our society.
Thus
,
some
individuals spend their ample time towards learning in institutions.
While
some
other
take part
-time jobs midst in their curriculum.
Hence
, I will
explain
my viewpoints through examples.

Firstly
,
take part
-time jobs while studying it’s
very
beneficial. It will boost your self- confidence and punctuality.
For instance
, when you do both
study
and
work
together, you’re
constantly
building your inner strength and you’re ready for lead any circumstances.
For example
, when disburse the money for rent, ration and electricity bill will
come
from your punctuality.
In addition
to, institution's fees increasing day by day and it’s the primary factor for
studies
.
Many
parents don’t have
enough
money to pay.
Thus
,
take part
-time
work
while studying is the most solid way of paying debts and varsity fees and it will not distract you from learning.

On the contrary
, to do part-time jobs has
some
drawbacks too.
Firstly
, do
work
in between your
studies
will affect your grades and it will
make
a difficult situation for yourself.
Secondly
, you will not spend adequate time for ménage. It will affect your curriculum. It will
make
a difference in proximity to household members.
Thus
, perceive the balance between
studies
and
work
with proper planning. Precedence to the
studies
then does the service.

To sum up, do a
work
while studying is a wise decision. It’s a
good
thought
to do both together.
However
,
use
your time
wisely
.
So
, Then both can
be noticed
and aid in your bright future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that it is better for children to be taught only the native language that they moved to; others believe that kids should be taught in bilingual method to help children adjust. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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